Thursday, April 30, 2015

Throw Back Thursday

I've always been conflicted about school. I love learning and being around peers. But I was stressed about being assessed by teachers and tests. I was also stressed about my classmates and their problems.

I missed a lot of school because stress made me sick. I went to work and college classes with my adult family. Just to avoid school.

I remember one time my oldest brother was going to take my sisters and I to school. I locked the door to my bedroom and put my hands behind me on the rungs of my bed. I figure if he couldn't get me, I wouldn't go to school. I don't remember what was that day's pain but he wasn't buying any aches. I don't know why I didn't want to go. And I felt bad for disobeying. But I couldn't see another way.

My brother took off the door knob. I begged him to let me stay home or go with him. But he said no to both. With our 17 year difference, it wasn't that hard for him to pick me up. I went to school. And just sat. I wasn't able to stay away from school but I could mentally remove myself.

Now that I'm older I realize how terrifying it would be to have an elementary student lock themselves in   room. Especially when they're clearly distraught.

I think I still do that sometimes. I get ill from stress. That's a fact. But sometimes I convince myself that I'm worse than I am. If I don't want to go somewhere, suddenly I'm broken. It's like I've mentally locked a door and wrapped my arms around a pillar. And then if I do get myself out, I'm not really there. When I'm shy, I talk too much. When I'm anxious, I don't talk at all.

But I know this now. I understand it more. And that's the first step to improvement.

P.S. I wrote 25,135 words for April Camp NaNoWriMo. It wasn't my first goal but my secondary goal was 25,000. So even if I could change it and win on the website, I'm considering myself a camp veteran now. I can't wait until the next camp

Tuesday, April 28, 2015


Oh tell me, tell me
Why it seems
Things that happen
Aren’t taken seriously

Talking is what goes on
No communication at all
Explaining again and again
Never understanding

Say something to me
How should I reply
Or is it really important
You’ll roll right over it

Listening is good
Using your ears is grand
So why does no one do so
Why can’t it be had

When will I be heard
Do I have to scream
Will it matter when it’s worse
How bad until you see

I can’t talk
And so I lose
Lose my trust, my truth
Lose my everything, lose you

Old poem: I want to say 1.5 years ago but it might have been longer.

I've figure out how to talk. I can say at least half of what I mean now. It isn't always enough. But it's more than before. And people are more understanding and wait for the other half.

Hopefully, I won't lose my truth. Or my people.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Jay Jain's Heart

I see you in my mind
Feel you in my heart
Know that I need you
Fully and in part
Really though
I don't know where to start

All that you do for me
Is too much to explain
Thing that makes me happy
Person who keeps me sane
You make me mad and sad
But mainly you wipe away my pain

You may not know it
But I need you all days
Everything you do
All of your wonderful ways
My love for you shows
My affection plays

When I talk to you
My mind never blanks
Always having fun
Always pulling pranks
All I wanted to say
Was thanks

- CoJa Brown

I wrote this in 2008. I was 13. This was the first poem that I thought was actually good. I guess this would be considered a milestone in my writing ability.

It reminds me of a 13 year old. The message is simple and to the point. It's lighthearted and youthful.

When I read it, I think of the boy I was in love with. And how much I wished I could have just told him this. But I'm not good at sharing my feelings in real life. So I wrote it down and tucked it away. And now it makes me nostalgic for those days.

Not that I want to be 13 again. But I want that breezy emotion of first love. I want the beautiful feeling that comes from being in love without thinking of anything real. Just being who you are. And knowing that the other person accepts you fully.

Monday, April 20, 2015


I've been a fan of Journey since 2009's Live in Manila. I knew the popular songs all my life. But I randomly decided to tape Live in Manila. And then I'd play it 2-3 times a week while doing homework. Sometimes, I watch the entire three hours (with commercials) and restart it. For months. I think my family got sick of it.

My dad took me to see Tron: Legacy in 2010. And what I remember most about that night is when Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) came on. We look at each other and started whispering the words. After the movie, he said he didn't know I was a Journey fan. I explained that I was a part-time fan but that SWWA was my current favorite.

I was so sad when we got a new cable box and Live in Manila was taken away from me. But I recently found it on YouTube so I'll be okay.

Music Monday inspired me to look into them more. I decided to listen to Journey's entire discography. I started Monday 6th and finished today. (I may have listened to some other music in between).

So this is what the last two weeks have taught me: I LOVE Journey!!!

I don't care what the lineup is. I don't care if a song doesn't have that "Journey" feel.

I grew up hearing the Steve Perry fronted Journey. But the Journey I rediscovered at 14 was fronted by Arnel Pineda. And to me, that's still Journey.

I like that they've had so many lineup changes. It shows how important this is to them. And that they can carry on despite losing members.

And when a song has a different feel, it feels like they're letting us in on another side of them. It's always a bit of a surprise in the pace of the music.

So quick review of each album. I won't use music terms because I can't remember them nor will I use them correctly. I'm leaving out compilation and greatest hits albums.

Journey (Self-titled Debut) - I liked that the focus was on the instruments. Seems like a soundtrack to a dream. Or maybe it's been in my dreams lately.
Favorites - In the Morning Day, In My Lonely Feeling/Conversations, Mystery Mountain

Look into the Future - This album makes me want to dance. It has songs that make me move before I even know it. It's a great album to clean to.
Favorites- On A Saturday Nite, Anyway, I'm Gonna Leave You
       Also, "Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas has been in my head all week. I only just found out that some think "I'm Gonna Leave You" inspired the main riff. (Used the term because the article says it.)

Next - I don't know if the sound was becoming more solid or if I was just growing with them. But this is the first album I connected with the first time I listened to it. The album was really easy to listen to and focus on the instruments and the vocals.
Favorites - Spaceman, People, Next, Nickel and Dime

Infinity - I love this album! I love how "Feeling That Way" is the perfect song to set up "Anytime". It takes me a moment to get into "Can Do" but it's worth the time.
Favorites - Lights, Anytime, Lă Do Dā, Wheel in the Sky, Can Do

Evolution - This album makes me want to sing. Which is what Journey has always meant to me. This album is the warmest to me, so far. It's like they are playing and singing just for the one listener, whoever they are.
Favorites - Too Late; Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'; City of Angels; Lovin' You Is Easy

Departure - "Any Way You Want It" is pretty much the coolest intro to an album ever! I love the repetition in a few of the songs. It makes it fun to sing along.
Favorites - Any Way You Want It, Someday Soon, People and Places, Where Were You, Stay Awhile

Dream, After Dream - While it has cool sounds, it doesn't really hold my attention. Which was disappointing given that it's a soundtrack to a Japanese movie.
Favorites - Sandcastles, When the Love has Gone

Captured - It's a live album with one new song. But I love it because Steve Perry talking is adorable.
Favorites - The Party's Over (Hopelessly in Love)

Escape - I'm not sure what to say about this album. It holds the largest amount of Journey songs I heard growing up. It's my Journey album, I guess. I like the other songs but my favorites hold my heart.
Favorites - Don't Stop Believin'; Stone in Love; Keep on Runnin'; Still They Ride; Escape; Mother, Father; Open Arms

Frontiers - The first half of the album has my favorite love songs. "SWWA" loyalty. "SHML" care sent through a messenger. "Faithfully" commitment in spite of distance. So much love. The second half of the album has a great sound.
Favorites - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart), Send Her My Love, Faithfully

Raised on Radio - After all that love, this album is a little more sad. But I like that the message is perseverance and eventual success. (You can make it through pain)
Favorites - Be Good to Yourself, Once You Love Somebody, Raised on Radio, I'll Be Alright Without You, It Could Have Been You

Trail by Fire - This album surprised me. It has a different feel to it. Not quite Journey but not far from it. The music is very pretty. And then there was the out of this world "Castle Burning".
Favorites - When You Love A Woman, If He Should Break Your Heart, Castle Burning, Still She Cries, Easy to Fall

Arrival - This album didn't pull me in. My brain was probably getting tired of one group at this point. (I've never listened to mainly one group for this long.) I'll have to come back to it in a month.
Favorites - To Be Alive Again

Red 13 - I liked it. It was a little slower, calmer. I'm not going to choose favorites because it had 4 songs.

Generations - This is my Steve Augeri album. From the first song to the last, it flows beautiful. I didn't want it to end
Favorites - Faith in the Heartland, The Place in Your Heart, Butterfly (She Flies Alone), Knowing That You Love Me, In Self-Defense, Beyond the Clouds, Never Too Late

Revelation - Welcome Arnel Pineda. This album feels like an homage to all the past Journey albums. It feels like the group is fondly looking back and then eagerly looking forward to what will come.
Favorites - Never Walk Away, Change For the Better, Wildest Dream, After All These Years, What I needed, What It Takes to Win, Turn Down the World Tonight

Eclipse - This album has some of the coolest songs ever! I had to keep myself listing all the songs. But I still listed most of them.
Favorites - Someone, She's a Mystery, Human Feel, Edge of the Moment, Chain of Love, Anything is Possible, City of Hope, To Whom It May Concern

SIDE POINT: Neal Schon is the last original member. He's been there since the beginning. Would he be considered the backbone of Journey?

Well, that was fun. I look forward to hearing more from Journey. In the meantime, I'll keep listening to their "old" music. (She says ironically)

Saturday, April 18, 2015


I really meant to do one of the topics this week. Namely, the Media Friday. But yesterday got away from me.

So here's some more musing.

I'm participating in Camp NaNoWriMo. It's like NaNoWriMo only  the writer gets to set their own goal. I set mine at 30,000 words. I'm working on three stories though, so it might go up.

Three stories at once would have seemed weird to me before. And very stressful. But they have a common theme. And I have to write them all as I am now. So I'm not putting a single one on the back burner as I have done in the past. Those stories never get written.

Other than that, I'm enjoying school and work. I'm learning so much. I look forward to putting it into practice.

I'm looking forward to having a real job. Something else that used to scare me because that would mean I was growing up. But I'm starting to believe that I can do the whole adult thing. Crazy, right?

I'm also not so panicked when I think of having a license. Maybe I'll get lessons soon.

P.S. Word count: 18,856

Tuesday, April 14, 2015


I don't know why
I say bye instead of goodnight
I don't know why
I suddenly feel like a cry

But please be there
When I figure it out
I want you around
For every laugh out loud

Saturday, April 11, 2015


I don't know what to say.

I guess that means I shouldn’t blog. But I promised myself I would blog twice a week and I won't lie to myself again.

I missed Tuesday's poem because I forgot all about it. I will post a poem this Tuesday.

I'm excited that Spring Break is over. But I don't want to go to school.

I've got all these story ideas. But I don't want to tell it wrong.

I want to go out and do things. But I also want to sleep all day.

But I don't want to sleep. The nightmares are getting worse. I don't think I've had a single pleasant dream in two weeks.

I wish I could stay up all night and write, read, watch tv. Anything but sleep.

I'm sick of feeling anxious when I wake up. Anxious over the things my brain has conjured up. I'm sick of feeling anxious as I go to sleep. Anxious about what dreams I might have and how they'll ruin my morning.

I'm glad for the people who make waking up worth it. I'm happy to know these amazing people.

I want to keep moving. And being able to say that is a much better state than I used to be in.

P.S. Lang Leav is my new favorite poet.

Monday, April 6, 2015



An announcement shook the house.

"The Simms, who have been an established family since the 1700s, are investing in the future. The Peyton Empire is a multi- billion dollar company. A company that is inviting 48 blessed orphans to the family alma mater, the Alden Academy for Boys and Girls. The program will be called Students On Scholarship or SOS for short. Why do you think the offer is only for orphans, Phil?"

"Well, the Simms were adults but their mother died 5 years ago and their father 21 years ago. It would seem they have a soft spot for orphans. Either way, as a company that has succeeded in every industry, it makes sense for them to recruit young talent. No doubt, these privileged orphans will feel a loyalty to the Simms family and Peyton company."

I wasn't interested but Mrs. Bachchan insisted that all eligible girls take the test. Our children's home was near the academy. She would be able to keep an eye on whoever got in.

I was the only one from the home to get in.


Chapter 1

"That class felt like it was never going to end." I say as I stretch.

"You might have enjoyed it more if you hadn't been staring out the window."

"A boring science class should not be situated in front of a beautiful lawn."

"That's true. The teacher didn't say much."

"Didn't say much? Our projects are due in two days. How is that not much?"

Lindsay smiles.

"I guess it's not important to you since you finished Saturday. It may be the last week of summer classes but the academy resumes in two weeks. I'm just glad to be done with science."

"I'll miss it."

"There's always college, Lindsay. You have a lock on the scholarship, as the smartest person in school and the most deserving."

"You deserve it too." Lindsay says, blushing.

"Lizzie!" Jennifer calls.

She has the younger girls with her.

"How was class?"

"Fine. Say is anyone hungry? Nascha, Rizalyn?" They nod.

"Well we're not doing anything about it until we get home." I reply.

The four young girls sigh.

"Didn't you pack a lunch, Tess?" Mikalya asks, joining the group.

"Oh, I didn't hear you come." Tess says.

"You're working with Lindsay at 1. Don't tell me you forgot to pack a lunch."

"Rizalyn packed me a lunch. Jenn thought asking the freshmen would tug at Lizzie's heartstrings."

"It was a good idea. Except four people have work and we are waiting for our allowance from Peyton." I say, patting Rizalyn's head.

"The bus is here." Lindsay states.

"Where's Bianca?"

"I lost her, Lizzie."

"Good job, Mikalya. Let's get out of here." Jennifer says.

"I heard that."

"That's great, Bianca. Scold her on the bus." I say as I turn to Nascha. "Do you have your bus pass?"

"Found it." Nascha says.

I pocket the change I had out and get on.

Lindsay has settled in with a book. Jennifer and Maritess, or Tess as we call her, are talking while Rizalyn watches. Nascha sits next to me and carefully puts away her pass before starring out the window. Bianca and Mikalya are across from me discussing the benefits of summer school.

I feel bad for the driver as we are known to be a loud group. It sounds like a full bus but there are no other riders. The driver smiles at me through the mirror and I smile back. He must not see us as an annoyance but full of life.

We're an odd group. We have outgoing and reserved members. We are contradictory and struggle to get along at times. But we understand each other for the most part and that is what matters.

"Lizzie, she's at it again." Mikalya says.

"I'm not at anything. I was just saying it would be easier to use the downstair showers."

"It would be easier but it is impossible. We've been over this, Bianca. We can't enter the main part of the academy while school is closed. That includes the rest of the dorms."

"We must be content with shouting across the cafeteria." Jenn says.

"Just as we shout everywhere." Bianca replies.


They both start laughing loudly.

"It's going to be so different with more people." Rizalyn says.

"Don't worry.  They're not scary." Tess soothes.

"But you guys said…"

"I know. They're unfriendly but they aren't scary."

"Treat them politely and you'll be fine. Remember, every night you're coming home to us." I say as the bus stops. "Work hard."

Rizalyn smiles and nods. Tess picks up their lunch. Mikalya leaves first.

"I don't know how you do it, mistress." Lindsay whispers.

"Lizzie, dear not mistress." I whisper back.

She squeezes my arm and leaves.

"Maybe they'll be nicer this year."


"The 9th graders. I know the upperclassmen have been mean to you guys. But it's the 9th graders first year too. Maybe they'll be nicer." Nascha explains, defensively.

"I'm sorry, Nascha. I was just distracted. I wasn't angry with you. Some may be nicer, others are younger sisters of those mean upperclassmen. Be optimistic but realistic, ok? For your own emotions."

"I'll try, Lizzie."

Lindsay doesn't know how I do it, how I lead. I can't help it. Ever since the beginning of sophomore year when Mikayla and Bianca looked so terrified standing in front of the academy, I knew the "scholarship orphans" students would need to be an united force. Ms. Weaver, the teacher assigned to Lindsay and I had just been promoted to headmistress. Lindsay is older than me but has been through too much to direct people. I knew it was my job.

All it takes is observing and listening. I've learned everyone's personality and circumstances. I know how to help them through the pressure of the academy.

Lindsay loves studying and being alone. I make sure the other girls don't bother her too much. Mikalya needs positive feedback and time to reflect on her surroundings. Bianca and Jennifer adore a good joke. They can find something funny in almost any situation but that's just to cover their scars. Tess needs direction and a listening ear. Rizalyn simply needs her sister, Tess.

I've only known Nascha a summer. But from what I can tell she requires constant attention. She's a daydreamer and while that's pleasant, she's forgetful.

I'm the only one whose story is unknown.

"Lizzie, it's our stop." Nascha says.

I smile at the irony.


"Headmistress Weaver calls." Bianca says.

I glare at her.

"I didn't do anything. I promise."

"We didn't." Jenn seconds.

"Alright, I believe you."

"Lizbeth." Headmistress calls.

"I'll see you later. We're finishing our projects and homework tonight."

Bianca and Jenn groan.

"I had dessert prepared but maybe it's not necessary." I shout back.

"It's always necessary." Bianca says.

"See you later, Lizzie." Nascha says, giggling.

"I see the ship is as tight as usual." Headmistress says.

"As tight as it ever will be." I say, matching her step.

"How was the semester?"

"Good. Everyone's doing well. We just have a couple last assignments."

"I'm glad to hear it." She says, opening her office door. "Elizabeth Gent, I'd like you to meet Belle Simms."

"Nice to meet you." I say, offering my hand.

The young woman I've seen on television countless times stands up. She beams as she shakes my hand.

"Lovely to meet you, Elizabeth."

"Well, let's be comfortable." Headmistress says, gesturing to the chairs.

We sit down. This room is for parents and students. I've only been on the parents side when Bianca and/or Jennifer got into trouble. It's strange to sit in the "child" seat.

"The Simms family has invited you to spend the first quarter at their house and attend the original academy in Massachusetts."

I freeze, shocked and overwhelmed. What did I do to merit such attention?

"Thank you for the invitation, Ms. Simms, but I'm afraid I must decline."

"May I ask why?"

Which obvious problem should I point out? The fact that I don't know the Simms family? My friends need me? That it's my senior year?

"I can't leave my sister, Jennifer. Not again."

"I wasn't aware you had a sister." Ms. Simms says, surprised.

"They aren't related by blood. They met years ago and share a tight bond." Headmistress explains.

"I see." Ms. Simms says. "Then, why don't you bring her with you?"

Wow, extending the invitation to Jenn didn't even phase her.

"A change of scenery would be good for Jenn." Headmistress says.

I know what she's referring to and realize she doesn't only mean Jenn.

"I will have to think about it."

"Of course. You could come back with me in a couple days to check out the town if you'd like."

"That sounds reasonable. Can I discuss it with Lindsay, my best friend, first?"

"Yes, Lindsay would need to know you're leaving all those girls to her charge."  Headmistress states.

"I'll give you my email." Ms. Simms says, a little confused. "Do you think you could tell me by this time tomorrow?"


"I look forward to hearing from you, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth. I wish she would stop calling me that. But I feel bad that I keep rejecting her.

"Thank you. If you'll excuse me, I have homework to do."

Headmistress nods.

"It was really nice to meet you, Elizabeth."

"My pleasure as well." I say, my hand on the door.

"Can you leave it open, Lizbeth? We're just about to tour the school."

"Of course."

"So she's in charge of the other girls?"

"Not officially. She guides them and helps them adjust to the school."

"Wow. she's rather mature."

"She's had to be." Headmistress says, saddened.

We were walking in opposite directions  and they're finally out of earshot.

I let out a sigh. I don't feel any obligation to go, even though the Simms family is paying for my tuition. Headmistress brought up a good point as to change for Jenn and I, though.

----- ----- -----

"Mistress?! She's doing it again." Lindsay says.

I sit on Jenn's bed and rub her back. She shakes and gasp for breathe from behind her sobs.

"Lizzie?" She calls out, unsure.

"Don't worry, dear. I'm here for you." I reply.

She pulls me down next to her. I lay on the edge of the bed, thinking about when I was the one crying in my sleep. Lindsay and I were the only two SOS. We shared one room and Ms. Weaver had the other.

Lindsay would wake up Ms. Weaver to take care of me and go back to sleep. I didn't really mind. Linds didn't have any way of helping me. I'm glad it only lasted a few months.

Jenn's going on a year.

----- ----- -----

"We're done!" Bianca says, falling on to the couch.

"For now." Mikalya states.

"Don't be a killjoy." Tess says, turning on music.

"Pizza's here." Jenn exclaims as the door slams open.

Rizalyn guides the door close with her foot and follows Jenn and Nascha to the kitchen.

"Thank you for getting the pizza from downstairs."

"No problem, Lizzie. Thanks for ordering it." Nascha says, skipping to the living room.

"Did she just turn her back on pizza?" Jenn asks, incredulous.

"I think she did. Here are the plates." I say, setting them down.

Rizalyn stares at the paper pkates.

"Are we eating in the living room?"

"Yes.  The tryant lets us from time to time." Lindsay deadpans.

"Oh, you're so funny. Girls, stop fighting and get food." I tell the other girls.

Once everyone is seated in the living room, I decide it is time to discuss.

"We all know school starts next Wednesday so we only have 10 days of freedom. How does everyone plan on enjoying it?"

"Reading." Lindsay says.

I smile. Her answer has been the same for four years.

"I'm hanging out with my brother." Mikalya says.

"I'm haven't seen him all month. How is Jon?"

"He's fine. He's been working and training. Finn gave him some tips."

"Well, tell him I said hello."

Rizalyn and Bianca add their greetings.

"We're buying Rizalyn and Nascha's cell phones and shopping for the room." Tess says.

"I didn't have any plans but that sounds fantastic."

"I want to go too." Bianca adds.

"What are you doing, Lizzie?" Rizalyn asks.

"I'm, um, I was invited to spend a couple of days at the Simms in the east."

"Really? Isn't that by a beach?" Jenn asks excited.

"So you won't be here before the semester starts?" Nascha asks.

"That's cool. They must think highly of you." Mikalya says.

"Yes, it's a beach town. No, Nascha I won't be here. Thanks, Mikalya."

"So shopping." Bianca starts.

"Don't you care about Lizzie leaving?" Tess asks.

"Of course, but she'll be back. We need to plan our shopping attack."


"Linds." I sigh. "Yes?"

Now isn't the time to correct her.

"A moment."

I follow her to to our bedroom.

"What's going on, Lizzie?"

"I don't know. They want me to visit for the first quarter. I said I couldn't go without Jenn so now Ms. Simms invited me to check it out."

Lindsay blinks at me.

"First quarter? You said a couple days."

"I'm going to check it out for a couple of days and decided whether or not to stay."

"What? Mistress you can't!"

"Lindsay!" I say, surprised by her emotion.

"Lizzie, I meant, Lizzie. I'll call you by your name. I'll socialize more and support the younger girls. Just don't leave for ten weeks."

"Lindsay. You don't have to push yourself. I'm not thinking of leaving because of you. I'd only visit if it's good for Jenn and I."

"Is it because of Finn?"

"Wait, what? Why Finn?"

"Why are you thinking of leaving for ten weeks? It's because he hasn't talked to you in months, isn't it? You don't want to see him when school starts because he's a bad best friend."

"Lindsay, you're my best friend. Finn's just… Finn. I'm not skipping state because he hasn't called me. Jenn needs a change of scene. I feel the most at home here but something is still missing and I think returning east might help. I'd ask for you, but this school and town is best for you. I need you with the girls too. If, and only if I go, I'll call you everyday, alright?" I say, resting my forehead against hers.

"Alright. You're right about Jenn and you. I'm just wary because you were my first constant since Mistress." Lindsay says, pulling back.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's selfish of me but it may be the best for everyone. I still have a week to decide though."

"You have to tell the other girls."

I don't reply.

"Lizzie, Jenn deserves to know if you're uprooting her and the other girls need to be prepared. They expect you to return for the year not possibly stay for ten weeks."

"Alright. I'll tell them."

Lindsay nods and leaves the room.

She rarely shows her emotions. And never realizes what others' might be. I think she's growing.

"Red orange is the color of the season." Bianca says.

"So? Burnt orange is a classic. They need at least two pieces." Tess argues.

"I think we can decide at the store." Rizalyn says.

"Lizzie has something to tell you." Lindsay states.

That was pretty brutal. She didn't give me any time.

"There's a little more to me going east that I hadn't mentioned. I was invited to attend the first academy for ten weeks while staying with at the Simms house."

"What?" Tess, Nascha, and Bianca shout.

"That's … cool." Mikalya says.

"You'll be gone for ten weeks." Jenn whispers. "We'll be left alone?"

"They invited you as well Jenn because I wouldn't go without you. Look girls, I don't know why they invited me. But I think it could be a good experience. It will be a change for all of us. But I'll be leaving this school next year anyway. We can prepare for that. "

"You and Lindsay are going to Northwestern and getting an apartment in town next year. This is going states away." Bianca says.

I don't have anything to say to that. It's silent for a few moments.

"Guys, Lizzie has sacrificed so much to make us comfortable. We can sacrifice a little too. It's only ten weeks of our lives."

"You're right, Mikalya." Tess says. "You have to promise to talk to one of us once a day at least."

"I can promise that." I say, sitting down.

"I'm going with you?" Jenn whispers confused.

"If you don't mind. I won't go if you don't want to."

"No, I think it'd be good for me. And you. If you like it when you go to visit, I'd like to go."

----- ----- -----

“Good morning, Elizabeth. I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up. How are you today?”

“I’m good. Thank you for sending me a cab, Ms. Simms.”

“Oh, you can call me Belle.”

“Thank you. Could you call me Lizzie? My mother was the only one who called me Elizabeth.”

“Of course. I’m sorry. I’ll call you Lizzie.” Belle says, looking down.

She gets a call and walks away.

Belle seemed upset about my name. I guess it was me mentioning my mother.

“The plane is ready. Do you have all your things?”


I’m returning to my home state.

My Novel

I didn't post my story yesterday. I kept forgetting and then it was suddenly 1 in the morning. I think I was just apprehensive about sharing my story. It's precious to me. And I'm afraid that it won't be as good as I think.

So let's pretend, this one time, that it's a different day. Let's  pretend it's Sunday and this is the day to share my writing.

This is My NaNoWriMo 2014: Jaded


Elizabeth Gent takes life as it comes. From getting a scholarship at a prestigious school to being invited to stay with a socialite family, she remains collected. What might she learn about herself in the town she buried her mother? It's been ten years. Can she maintain her calm? Or will everything change? Will Elizabeth unfreeze her heart and truly love?

Wednesday, April 1, 2015


It's National Poetry Month.

I'll post one of my own poems every Tuesday to observe the month. I'll add a poem of a famous poet or a yet unknown poet to every post. But only if it supports the message of the post.

To me, poetry is a free flowing means of sharing thought. There’s sonnets, free verse, epics, ballads, couplets, haiku, limericks, odes, quatrains, and so much more. I love that you can choose your art form. It allows the poet to show different sides of their artistry.

And poems, like books, can be interpreted differently. The reader has some guidelines and suggestions based on the words written. But the reader brings their own experiences and understandings to the poem.

I love that there is a month dedicated to this beautiful literary genre.