How?
How do I go from high up to falling down?
Why?
Why can't I speak when people are around?
When?
When will I be able to see more than me?
Who?
Who do I even want to be?
Where?
Where will I find my safe place?
What?
What can I do to enjoy taking up space?
Oh tell me, tell me
Why it seems
Things that happen
Aren’t taken seriously
Talking is what goes on
No communication at all
Explaining again and again
Never understanding
Say something to me
How should I reply
Or is it really important
You’ll roll right over it
Listening is good
Using your ears is grand
So why does no one do so
Why can’t it be had
When will I be heard
Do I have to scream
Will it matter when it’s worse
How bad until you see
I can’t talk
And so I lose
Lose my trust, my truth
Lose my everything, lose you
Old poem: I want to say 1.5 years ago but it might have been longer.
I've figure out how to talk. I can say at least half of what I mean now. It isn't always enough. But it's more than before. And people are more understanding and wait for the other half.
Hopefully, I won't lose my truth. Or my people.
I see you in my mind
Feel you in my heart
Know that I need you
Fully and in part
Really though
I don't know where to start
All that you do for me
Is too much to explain
Thing that makes me happy
Person who keeps me sane
You make me mad and sad
But mainly you wipe away my pain
You may not know it
But I need you all days
Everything you do
All of your wonderful ways
My love for you shows
My affection plays
When I talk to you
My mind never blanks
Always having fun
Always pulling pranks
All I wanted to say
Was thanks
- CoJa Brown
I wrote this in 2008. I was 13. This was the first poem that I thought was actually good. I guess this would be considered a milestone in my writing ability.
It reminds me of a 13 year old. The message is simple and to the point. It's lighthearted and youthful.
When I read it, I think of the boy I was in love with. And how much I wished I could have just told him this. But I'm not good at sharing my feelings in real life. So I wrote it down and tucked it away. And now it makes me nostalgic for those days.
Not that I want to be 13 again. But I want that breezy emotion of first love. I want the beautiful feeling that comes from being in love without thinking of anything real. Just being who you are. And knowing that the other person accepts you fully.
I don't know why
I say bye instead of goodnight
I don't know why
I suddenly feel like a cry
But please be there
When I figure it out
I want you around
For every laugh out loud
