Recorded 10/18/23
So I deleted the first video before I decided what I wanted to do here. This recapping my videos for writing from May. Omgosh. It is October. This was months ago. This is a project in time. Um, so. May 19, 2023. It is currently the 18th October 2023. So I am going to hopefully put this up today. And it will be the first. Well not today because I literally just put up a video. Or an um, podcast yesterday, well not it is posting today. So not today. Um, it says,
“Who wants to go to a concert with me becuase I do this every single concert. (referring to loud screaming and singing). You about to find out.”
Badly sings Jonas Brothers’ song.
Laughing at audio of my bad singing.
“Redacted brown eyes looking into his soul.”
“I am so ready for this. And I have not written any of this. Okay so it is Friday. I know I didn’t write anything the week that I went to see my best friend. Because that was a bad week. I’ve only spent a week writing this story. I’m on three weeks into this month and I don’t know if I’m going to write any next week. I hope I do. I’m supposed to be writing daily. At least one of my three stories. MMhmmm.” Laughs
“No 5 stories. Ugh, 6 stories. I’m supposed to start JEB next week (referring to picking back up A Beta’s Pride.”
“So opposite his higher pitch for his greeting in Thai. Does anyone else notice that when Thai speakers speak. This is dirty for me to be typing while reading. (referring to scene being typed. most likely smut.) I don’t know much about women speakers. But male. AMAB when they speak English versus Thai, English is a little bit deeper. I don’t know… Maybe, well, I’m basing it off like three people so I know it’s not common. I don’t know that much. But I feel like a lot of Asian languages are just a little bit higher pitched.”
I think there is actual science there. But I’m not going to get into it. I’m just typing at whatever time of night, oh, no day. It was daytime
“I wonder how many words I’ve typed this month. I think I can double it next month.”
I’m probably still doubling times and like I really shouldn’t. It’s alright if I don’t write all the words I want in a month. I’ve got plenty of months.
Reacting to myself screaming Nick Jonas. “I was appreciating Nick as much as I was praising Joe the other time. But I was in love with Kevin first, so like…”
Singing along to Jealous.
Followed by screams.
“I am like DYING for Nick Jonas. Omigod.”
“Ohmygosh this chapter’s over. I need to post chapter 2. I should have posted that before I started singing. Now I need to post like 3 chapters. Yay!” (sarcastic)
“Why do you keep spending money on him at all? I guess it’s like your welcome present but (redacted) (Ubi) isn’t poor. I mean… yeah, that’s his name for now.”
I think I actually said Uea, his original name.
Reacts to Lovebug by Jonas Brothers. Audio of 2019 concert.
“This song like changed my life. I don’t know who I was in love with at this point. I was only ever in love with well, him. But I fancied myself (odd voice) in love with a lot of different people. But I want to say I had just… stop.. Actual guy I was in love with.”
“We’re going to call him… (stares off) Jonas (not just because I was listening to JB, but this is a solid perfect play on his actual name. And I can’t believe it took me like forever, many, many years to get there.) Um, then I switched to R, then I switched back to Jonas, then I switched to R, then I switched back to Jonas, then I switched to T and then I switched to… so yeah.” Gets sad. “So I think I fancied myself in love with R when that song came out. (redacted) but I was surprised to be in love with someone else.” (other than Jonas)
What song? Lovebug. I’m talking about Lovebug. Omigod.
Badly singing Before He Cheats. Wonders why I didn’t cut the video of me messing up
“I guess I’m being honest. .. Working with a fourth of what I was promised. Anyway,”
Getting back to Hamilton because we always get back to Hamilton.
Bunch of bad singing later.
“Okay when everyone sees all of Andrew’s nicknames I’m going to say it was normal when his name was Edward.”
Page count on VAULT - 23 pages
I think VAULT is still at like 36 pages. I haven’t been writing it.
“I need to write what day I typed that.” (After 2 months off writing, I still struggle with this).
And I wrote that (about writing the date) like a month ago (by 10/18/25) and I still struggle. I’m trying to write the date I write stuff and I’m still struggling.
“Caught up on VAULT. How many words is VAULT?”
4,(redacted). I can’t believe haven’t written anything in over a week.”
I give up on writing sometimes.
As Is
Trying to figure out how many chapters each girl has. “I’m very symmetrical about this story. I don’t know why.”
“Okay the first chapter was 1,875. The next chapter was 2,656. Chapter 3 is 1,154.”
Singing “5,500 (oh, no that was not the rhythm I wanted. That was, what’s it called. Seasons of Love) words typed today.” That’s the thing that I did.
“What is my alarm situation? Oh, I didn’t wash dishes today. Oh, I didn’t do Enby, Enby RiffRaff. Where is Enby RiffRaff? Well I’m doing Purple now. Which is going to take me longer than the 20 minutes it was supposed to. Enby RR will be 12:30pm. This one is supposed to be 11:50. That is in 20 minutes. That’s not going to happen.”
I’m glad I stopped, well I have no time to put a bunch of alarms on what to do in the morning. I need to wake up earlier to get stuff done before work. But as of right now, I’m kinda just fine with waking up to go to work at 10.
Reacting to video of monster. “They are ripping up magazines. JW magazines. That’s hilarious.”
“I need to do dishes in 30 minutes when I finish. What am I supposed to do next?”
“My baby had rolls for days.”
Just typing while watching videos.
Making throw up noises at my family’s names lol
Laughing at baby noises as I type
Watching a video of a 1.5 year old playing with my 1 year old. I don’t know how 5 adults missed the child hit my child.
Okay, I think we’re starting to get into. No, I’m not on the video I have the audio for yet.
Me recording a bunch of videos on the train out to OKC in 2017
Surprised to find I had video of my baby learning to walk. Yesss!
That’s how I react to children falling. “Are you okay? Yeah, you’rer okay.”
My place is the backseat with him
I would totally be on time if I hadn’t done those songs. I recorded songs. But I don’t think I have video of that so I don’t know why I did that.
“Hey you don’t break out of your carseat.”
Playing with the seatbelt. That seatbelt is really loose and shouldn’t be like that. (The baby was playing with their seatbelt and the seatbelt shouldn’t be like that) Always check your seatbelts babes. They can get bigger, they can move sometimes. Just keep it right and keep it tight.
Timer goes off. I’m supposed to be doing me hair? No thank you. I’m supposed to read a bit later. Yeah right, timer.
Wow I’m being so helpful to myself.
Them watching football. They love football. I’ll post a picture of them in their football onesie. It’s sooooo cute
No one can talk with the baby around.
Winter is heck. Winter is heck in California and I’m preparing for Oklahoma.
That was avideo I recorded as a teena- or no young adult.
I can’t believe this took 40 minutes to type. I think it’s taking longer to type than it did to write.
They love the rain now. They love the rain. I told them this morning it was raining. They got up and jumped on the couch to watch.
That’s on May 19th, 2023. They’re adorable.
Yeah. That was ridiculous. That took 47 minutes to type. But only 20 minutes to write. Was I really typing that whole time? My wrist hurts from the height.
105 problems. A 103 problems on the other one. (That’s about Grammarly) And 20 pages. How many words? Word count is 5,212. So my word count for today is about 14,000. Well, not really not just today.
Bye
So that’s the end of my first video ever. That I ever took.
We’re going to get into the second video.
5-21-23
Okay so I didn’t write anything like recently. (Oh, I know where I put the videos of me singing. I think I put them on Instagram. Or maybe YouTube. I’m not sure.) I updated my typing Friday and I don’t have any more typing of Purple or VAULT. (Coughs horrible. ‘Cuse me.)
(So Purple and VAULT. I started in May. I was supposed to write a little bit every day. Then I was supposed to write a little bit every other day. Then I was supposed to write every third day. I literally just haven’t written. Like I think I’ve written some Purple. I’m researching VAULT right now with microbiology. I’m getting a lot of inspiration for a lot of jokes and really smutty scenes. But like I don’t think I’m going to hit 15,000 words before the end of the year. Like maybe but I really don’t think it’s likely because I’m focusing on other stories to finish out.)
So I’ll do those today. And maybe type today. I’ll write in the morning and type at night. I know I’m supposed to write those two. But those are at 8 and 9 o’clock and it’s 6 in the morning.
So I’m going to get started on the others I was supposed to type like AISHB and I don’t think I’m supposed to work on SING. I’m supposed to type Aii, AISHB, and Enby RR. I’m supposed to post EtJ. (Redacted. I don’t know what I said there). I’m supposed to clean my phone. That’s going to take forever.
So this video shouldn’t be over an hour. I don’t know how long those stories are going to take.
I’m going to have to move my stories to different emails. Cause this is too many stories for one email (10-17-23 update - still not done.) (As of yesterday when I was typing up this transcript, no, I still haven’t done this.)
I can’t always find the stories I want.
I can’t wait to show the monster the videos of them.
I don’t want to have to copy. What will I do to copy 54 pages?
(I don’t know what that means.)
This is one of my favorite concerts. Well, I don’t know. I shouldn’t compare. Deep voice king.
Ranting about Miraculous Ladybug.
Oh, look it’s my cult singing.
Me freaking out about Josh Turner’s voice on Everything is Fine
Ok I’mn going to find that.
Paused and looked. Didn’t find.
Okay well. I don’t know where that is.
But I’m going to play a snippet of Long Black Train because I love that one too. Okay, this is very difficult to do.
Okay so I’m at 5 pages of the transcript.
Singing along to Long Black Train (I know Josh means it as a warning. But I want on the Long Black Train. That is my father with a holy name.) The train can come for me. It’s fine, Josh. You’re Christian. I don’t know what I am.
Singing to Time is Love
Okay this is a fun little bit. It’s basically the rest of the episode.
It got a little steamy. Little? (what story is this about?) Fine a lot. He topped me (Enby RR)
Talking about Time is Love
Measuring time in kisses is kinda funny to me. Like I don’t want to talk to you. Do you know how many kisses I could have gotten by now? I’m missing out on? I don’t want to talk to you.
Condoms? I ask. As in plural
That’s back to Ney.
Grant’s face falls.
I’ll be done with this notebook on the 5th. (Was I done with this notebook on the 5th? I hope I was.) I can put it in the closet. Do you know how good it feels to put notebooks in the closet? I haven’t done it yet. That’s how good it feels.
Grant laughs again. Twice on a page. I hate when I do that.
Well, he’s been sexually active 5 years longer than me. So his stamina is on a different level.
Comparing Grant to his own fucking boyfriend. Ney!
I don’t know what this has to do with anything. Ney!
I just finished a whole pack of Hawaiian rolls by myself and I’m a little worried (that was in a video I recorded and like yes!)
I’m glad that Josh has a partner. And has a little hometown girl. And these songs are from different points of view. And there’s a lot of point of views. And there’s a lot of different songs. One minute is this point of view. Then this other one. And then another point of view.
But Josh needs a little hometown girl. I’m not a little hometown girl. Will I get any Joshs in my life? What Josh will be alright with me not being a little hometown girl? I don’t need any Joshs in my life. Josh is a bad name. I don’t like any of the Joshs I knew. That’s, that’s not true. I had a child named Josh. They were awesome. I’ve known 2 Joshs and I’m basing all the Joshes on that one Josh.
But Josh Turner. Where do I get a Josh Turner like country boy? Without being a hometown girl? Because I am not going riding. I am not doing any of it. I’m not.
I put on Rise and Shine nail polish for that line for that concert. (It was such pretty nail polish)
I am so bad about letting my nail polish chip.
I forgot I had Taki last night. I was like why are my nails this color. Oh.
Are people awake? No one is supposed to be awake.
Let’s see what we have so far. (Enby RR)
“Well, he’s been having sex 5 years longer than me so his stamina is on a different level.”
“Hmm. I think Namsoon and Heungoo switch.”
(Knock on my door. Well, I’ll be finsihing this episode in a bit.)
(That was not my therapist like I thought. It was the groceries I forgot I ordered yesterday. I’m so forgetful. Omigosh.)
Babe what?
“No. Woobin totally tops.”
“Isn’t shipping real people a little (a bit and I can’t say that word), strange?”
That was a mish mash of Ney and me talking.
“I don’t ship Lee Jong Suk and Woobin.”
Oh, I’ve been writing Woobin but I call him Woob and so does Grant.
“Then why didn’t you say Heungsoo tops?”
Oh just me in the hospital missing my kdramas, writing all about them.
“All I see when I look at him is Woobie.”
“You’ve nicknamed a Korean guy you’re never going to meet.”
Grant gasps.
“Take that back.”
Then I just die of laughter. It says:
Laughter upon laughter.
“Okay. You’re totally going to meet him one day at a fanmeet.”
“And he’ll take one look at me and say ‘Screw girls’.” Laughing while typing. “I’ll be like, ‘not the right term for a nice hook up’. And he’ll say, ‘no. no more girls for me. Let’s run away together’.”
And then I just go on for like 11 lines.
Hey, I don’t have any fantasies like this. Okay, well I have one. I have one fantasy like this. A couple. Two celebrities. But not really. Not like Grant. Grant is like if “I meet this man he will fall in love with me”. It’s a little facetious (Grant is a little facetious). But I honestly don’t think I would actually be able to hook up with them only because I’d be like not smooth at all. I’d be ranting about how much I love them. When I started loving them. And how much my love has grown. And they would be like ‘you’re freaking us out’. I don’t think I’d make it past a 5 minute convo. Cause I would be so stunned at first. I’d be trying to find the least creepy thing to say. And if we made it past 5 minutes, I’d just ramble it all out. And it depends on how we met. Because I am not quiet about my love for them. So they would know. If we were to hang out, I’d be talking about my love for them. And they would tell me to leave. They are such humble creatures. But they praise each other all the fucking time. So maybe they would be cool.
Tomdaya. Tomdaya. Tomdaya.
My Tomdaya dream inpatient.
I was dating Tom for like 3 or 4 weeks. Well I had a dream like 3 weeks in we were shopping and going to a club. So like 5 weeks into the relationship. I love when my dreams have time lines.
So we were in the middle of an ACT. And I just randomly asked does Zendaya know about me? And Tom like paused and I was like she doesn’t? and I got up and got dressed. And as I was walking out his bedroom was like “I’m going to tell Zendaya and we’ll date until you’re ready to be mature.”
So I knew I was in love with both them. Well, whatever superficial love.
Superficial love is as amazing as real love. It’s not unreal. Superficial love is valid. Some superficial love last even better than deeper ones.
So if I like both of them, have a dream about being a triad, being happy and being successful. No I had a dream about being a side piece. And I’m going to be so epic that he’s risking it all.
You don’t risk anything with Zendaya. You be honest with Zendaya. You be honest with anyone but especially not Zendaya. You don’t want to lose her.
So we dated on the side. And when I was leaving, I was so sure Zendaya would date me. LIke be interested in me. And not mind that me dated her boyfriend. But I didn’t know she didn’t know. And if it didn’t randomly come in my head would I ever have asked.
I understood in my dream, that dream Tom understood. That I was going to wait for him to be a successful triad. And I just read a little of my story. My own story cracks me up. (Okay, so I was telling this story about my dream. And then I glanced over at the side of the computer and read some of my story while I was telling my dream. Which I think is kind of the goal. Cause I write for me.)
It’s just really funny. LIke why that dream. Why am I so sure I could get them? Like no.
So back to Ney and Grant.
“And you’ll say?” Ney asks.
“Only if my girlfriend Ney can come along.”
“Right. But no threesome. I’m not into him that way.”
Oh, three way. Because a threesome is different to me. Three way is a traid. A threesome is just a night.
“You just watched that gorgeous man for four hours. And you’re not into him?”
This is all that matters to Grant. It doesn’t make any sense to him.
Okay I’m not going to read any more.
Okay so it takes me about 40 minutes to type as much of a part as I want.
Singing along to Why don’t we just dance.
Oh, man I have a superman story to write. I forget about everything. I need to put that in my phone right now. Superman is going to take a while. Who even has the animated series? That’s what I’ll use for Superman. That would be really nice to do for a Superman Batman story. (That is one of my top ships.) That will be really fun. I’m glad I saw that.
Still badly singing to why don’t we just dance.
I ate apples. What? Why did I eat apples?
Gag face.
Singing along to Deep South.
Singing to my official karaoke song - Your Man
And that’s how we’re going to end this episode with a little bit of Your Man.
(Within video. Okay so my queer tags take up everything on my IG post. Rambles about queer tags.)
That is my ultimate karaoke song. That’s the first one I do every time when I do rotations. Like when I start doing karaoke again. I have about 23 songs on my list. But that’s number one.
Alright ya’ll have an amazing day.
I can’t believe I finished another segment of my life. That is so weird to say but like it’s only 2 days that I combined but yeah. Keep writing!
