Wow mom

1) I feel that. I don't even know any of my non jw family. My mom kept them in my life. But as soon as she died, we never visited again. I think because my aunts and uncle can't keep quiet about their faith but my mom would only mention it politely, not trying to convert.

2) Thank you. I'm mostly okay with it. Because of watching her suffer. And of course there was the hope of seeing her again. I'm not really sure what I believe now. Maybe in the universe reusing energies. So one day our energies will connect again. I jut wish I had her for the sexual assault and my brother's abuse.

3) I wish my mom had had time to learn and then teach me sign language since my hearing was intermittent until I was 2. I guess I just learned not to ask for anything. Wonder if it affected me at all /s 🙃🙃🙃

4) Makes sense. As a former child of a parent in college, they love the time you spend together. 

I'm not sure what degree my mom got. She was in college from me being 3-7. And I'm pretty sure she took college classes. And she didn't work. She also had cancer for 75% of college.

I remember she went to sleep last, well besides me staring at her once she was asleep due to my insomnia. She woke up first. She was always reading.

But she spent her lunch time taking me to speech therapy 3 times a week. And would spend any extra time, taking ms to the farm on her campus and telling me about animals. She talked to me whenever I would interrupt her while studying.

Her future was a priority. But I still mattered. Your child watches and knows

Random Thoughts on my Trans identity

1) 

Right?! Like puberty blockers should be accepted by ALL mental health professionals. Hell, let's give our cis children puberty blockers. That way bullying for growing "too fast" or "too slow" will stop.

2)

Literally no. I knew I wasn't cis without knowing that people could be trans. That was at age 3. When I wanted to break out of preschool and get hit by a car. Or kidnapped, raped, and killed.

Because that would have been better than being raised a certain gender.

3)

I'm not doing anything to children. No one is doing anything to children. Children are coming up to their families, after thinking about it for hours, days, weeks, months, years. And saying I am unhappy in my body.

Refusing them blockers, which as I said are reversible, kills them. Your opinion is killing children.

I don't hate you. I just want you to stop telling me that I didn't think the way I did as a child. That is manipulation and gaslighting. I hope for your children's sake they are all cisgender. And don't run away at 18 to be safe.

4)

I would say that my transness is a mental disability. I'm perfectly happy the way I am. Like my ASD diagnosis.

But it won't kill me like my Bipolar ii and BPD can.

Animals do not socially transition. Physical transitions are most often permanent but AGAIN, children aren't allowed to physically transition under the age of 18. Often not until they are over 22.

I'm down for setting the transition age at 25 when the frontal vortex is fully developed. However, letting a 3 year old socially transition will not prohibit them from detransition at 10 or 13 or 17. And if they transition 10 times, it's fine.

It is much better than a 7 year old killing themselves. THAT is permanent.

5)

My dead name is from a movie title my mom watched while pregnant with me. I had a similar life to the one described in the movie.

6)

I like T'ya'la from Star Trek. It means "friend, brother, lover". But it doesn't have to be all three. In my opinion for Spock and Kirk it does. But other people feel it just means friend, brother.

Another I like is nae salam. It means my person in Korean. I just love the slight ownership and implication that this person is different than everyone else. I'm not entirely sure how to use it in my poly life.

7)

I feel so bad for the girls going through 2nd puberty and calling us out on never telling them. I think I just accepted it within 2 months of having them and never thought of it again.

Now I'm wondering if my chest is why I had to go to physical therapy for lower back pain in 8th grade. I can't imagine growing to be an i cup again.

8)

You don't have to believe the same as me. But you could be polite and not press your beliefs on me. Kindly ignore me now. Bye!

You are wildly entertaining after all. Even if I showed you my birth certificate, told you how happy my family was to have a 3rd daughter after 2 boys and 2 girls, and how much my first period surprised me, you still wouldn't believe I could be assigned female at birth and still be trans.

9)

That's fair. Considering how hard gender is for me, while I'm 27 and quintgender, I can't even imagine a cis person from the 50s.

My mom and dad were born in 57. I think my mom would have an easier time than my dad.

10)

Then he read my post about coming out. He literally asked "are you 5 people?" And doesn't understand how that's transphobic as he thought it was a mental health thing. Which in my opinion still isn't the way to ask. His tone didn't say "explain it to me." It said "now what?

11)

I knew my brother for 25 years as one name. I haven't deadnamed him since he came out over a year ago.

The child who gave me my name, I deadname occasionally because I haven't talked to them in 21 months. But I always correct myself.

My childhood friend who changed from a nickname for his middle name to his full legal name, I have deadnamed when telling stories about him under 20. Never deadnamed him to his face. And he was very gracious during the transition stage. Also he's cisgender so it's not as pressing, personally.

It does happen. I dead gender myself the most. But repeating the correct name after is loving and trying.