Self-love Revolution

I need to buy this book

The dedication:

For every girl who has felt ugly, wrong, bad, weak - you are beautiful, you are right, you are good, you are powerful beyond imagination.

#7 of 9 points that explode beauty standards:

It is not your job to be beautiful

Health at every size - HAES

Is people never pronouncing your name correctly a microaggression? It comes from inside the house too.

John Harvey Kellogg was a clean eating advocate. Keeping your body clean helped keep your soul clean - from sex!

And their world views and spiritual beliefs were beyond most white men's comprehension.

Nine gross characteristics of diet culture

#1 you learn about diet culture when you're a kid

#4 you learn to compliment people if they look like they've lost weight - and to have minimal concerns about how it happened.

Ch 7 Why is my family always talking about my body?

#3 they ate being inappropriate and controlling

Remember: you have the right to set boundaries and communicate with your family around what you need to feel safe I your body.

Self-love is about recognizing and accepting that you are precious and valuable.

Stuff to say to trolls

Chapter 10 I'm tired of hating myself... so how do I love myself?

Forty quick things you can do to develop self-love

#4 get rid of your "skinny" jeans

Just for that I'm putting them on my shopping list for fall

#14 say out loud as often as possible: "I'm valuable and sacred"

#15 write a love letter to your body

#16 light a little candle, and for the entire time it burns, think or write down nice things about yourself until it goes out

#18 don't date or have crushes on people who are homophobic, transphobic, fatphobic, or racist

#19 watch shows and movies that portray all kinds or people in empowering and positive ways

#33 come up with a secret thing that makes you feel like yourself or makes you feel grounded.

#35 watch movies and social media with a critical lense. Notice who the main characters and who the villains are, and ask yourself why. Notice how people of different races, sizes, and economic backgrounds are portrayed, and ask yourself why.

#36 experiment with different lengths of hair, growing out body hair, and how you dress

#37 focus on communicating what you want and need.

#38 listen yo music that makes you feel seen and heard

#39 talk to yourself the way you'd talk to someone you really love. That means no more insults or name-calling.

I'm a fool bitch. Try to stop me!

#40 recognize that it's okay to have bad days when you're really down on yourself. You didn't fail! Remind yourself that you didn't choose to learn crappy (body) ideals

Part three

Be you, not what someone else thinks you should be

Chapter 12 say no at least once a day

Alternatively, personally, say yes at least once a day

Chapter 13 - going into sixth grade increased dieting from "regular dieting". Does the author mean their normal eating or their average diet that happened repeatedly through life?

Healthy and thin are not the same thing

Learn the basics of a new language 

Write everyone you know a note telling the how amazing they are

Chapter 15 find your allies

People who:

Genuinely want you to thrive and succeed

You trust

Do what they can to make sure you are safe and successful

Where you live and hang out. Your not chosen community, NCC. Some become CC, chosen community. Some don't. 

"Because my boyfriend was a straight white dude, he was able to feel comfortable in most places because we live in a culture that was built to make him feel comfortable. I, on the other hand, do not feel comfortable in many places, because we live in a culture that wasn't built to make me feel comfortable. 

He was afraid of my umbrella because it made him feel like an outsider (my personal add, stand out and a target because no one else had one). I'm used to feeling like an outsider - whether I have a bright umbrella covered in dogs open or not.

I never thought I'd be the kind of person who wore tight neon pants or a silver-sequined jumpsuit.

When I was in middle and high school, everything in my closet was pretty much the same color. The most adventurous color in my wardrobe was dark blue.

Random thoughts on my cult upbringing

 1) Just went shopping for the bubs birthday tomorrow. The fact that we weren't going to get them anything 😬😬 speaks to being raised in a cult.

I have yet to receive a birthday present. But better for the next generation!

There's a party on their birthday tomorrow but it's for their friend. Hopefully we can make the time after the party special for them.

2) I'm on volume 3 of my 5 volume series about being trans/gay/queer and raised a witness.

Someone read a chapter where one of the triplets, Jain, learns about Spock/Kirk fanfiction, tells her trans boyfriend about a Vulcan kiss they can do at school without getting in trouble with one of her triplet sisters, and his brother outs them as a couple to their friends, in a nice way. And everyone pretty much says, if it's a secret, why tell us but we'll hide it.

The person who read it told me they cried and they wanted to read more. The goal of the chapter was definitely not to male people cry. But it was nice to see them relate to it so much.

3) Thanks. I was raised in a cult. There wasn't much I would have been encouraged to read. So I started writing at 14 for young people to have "safe" things to read.

I wrote 3 books but only ever felt connected to 1 character in all of them. When I escaped, I decided to take all my stories and do a "Make It Queer" series.

Now I feel connected to my characters.

4) Considering I was barely allowed to wear miniskirts at home when I got into Star Trek at 12, I thought it was highly feminist and daring.

5) I have BPD, ADD, and Autism. I think it's trauma from being bullied by my siblings up to 16 years older than me and having to limit my needs from my mom dying for 4 years. Then escaping the cult proved to me that no one lasts forever.

6) Also in the Bible Belt. Yesterday I went to a birthday party possibly at a house I knocked on for th ministry when I was in. The house next door for sure. But the house I was in felt familiar too.

I was like JWs would call me pagan for being at my first birthday party ever. AND it's a house I tried to convert? Awesome!

7) I'm sorry to hear that. The one time me and my bestie wrestled, like legit wrestled no homosexual undertones, we were caught. And my aunt told her dad we needed to always be under adult supervision. He thought that was pathetic and didn't do so. Like how could he when we had sleepovers?

8) 3 sisters in the neighboring congregation for our double hall pressured me to medicate my little one. Said Jehovah would like me to stay at meeting and they do it all the time.

I never took them back. I went like 3 more times. My best friend/roommate 2 more times after me. And then after 2 months, I told her I wasn't going back. She said she had a boyfriend. I worried that we would stop talking and need to find new places to live. She said it wasn't a witness and she'd kept it secret from me, fearing I'd judge her.

Sooooo glad my little one didn't have any effects from mixed meds. Sooooo annoyed I didn't even know their names but gave in. But also grateful their actions had the opposite result of their intent.

9) Hahaha 

After 3 years put, I still sing the line "Stay Awake, Stand Firm, Grow Mighty" whenever I get really tired while doing something I need to do. Like I conditioned myself to do at meeting.

I still fell asleep at meetings. Now I laugh so hard, I wake up.

10) I asked my brother if "forgetting our cult upbringing, would our parents be disappointed that you are socially a boy, after trying for a decade for a girl? Even considering they got 1.3 girls after that."

He laughed and said if he "came out at 3 maybe as our middle sister was only 1 at the time and Rina wasn't born yet. But mostly they would be confused as it was the 90s and our parents were born in late 50s."