Pride: Your Way

Chapter 2

March 12th, 2018

“So Mia do you like him?” Zoe asks at Go!

“He’s sweet.”

Zoe raises an eyebrow.

“Do you like him?” She repeats with emphasis.

“Maybe.” Mia giggles. “I haven’t even known him a day.”

“Either way. Maybe you should be less you about it.”

“Excuse me?” Lupe says coming to her sister’s defense.

“I think what Zoe means is Mia should flirt,” Simon explains.

Sofi and Agus start laughing.

“Mia? Flirt?” Martin asks incredulously.

“Yes, flirt. How else would he know she likes him anymore than a stranger? She’s too bubbly with everyone for him to tell a difference.”

Mia looks downcast.

“Whatever Zoe. Would you ever do that?” Lupe asks.

“If necessary.” She replies as Aunt Isabel walks in. “I hope he realizes how you feel.”

“Class is starting. Team start stretching while I look at Martin’s concepts.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

----- ----- -----

March 13th, 2018

“Juanma and Lupe.”

Stupid mixed second and third year elective, Lupe curses.

“Hi.” Juanma says, sitting down.

“Hi.” Lupe says, checking herself in the mirror.

“I’m, um, surprised you don’t want Olivia to have her party.”

And I’m surprised you speak.

“It’s not like we didn’t have the summer to party. And Go! needs work.”

Juanma pauses in setting up his multi colored pens.

“Right. Tobias mentioned you might have been upset by what I said.”

“Oh, no. I love when people criticize things they know nothing about. Especially when it’s my art and friends who have been working so long and hard at something.”

“I told you, I’ve been to the competitions. I’m not just saying it.”

“Fine. How about the fact that it was one performance meant to be informal with new members?”

“Um.”

“Exactly. Maybe wait until you have solid evidence that we suck.”

“That’s not...”

“Class dismissed.”

Lupe stalks out.

----- ----- -----

March 14th, 2018

“Why aren’t you rooming with Lupe?” Zoe asks again as Mis starts unpacking.

“Because we are sisters. And too much time together can put our lives at risk.”

“As if you could ever hurt anyone.” Simon says.

“SIblings bring out a different side.” Mia says, simply. “Plus we’re good friends aren’t we Zoe? Or would you rather I room with Sofi?”

“You’re my best friend after Simon. I could never let you submit yourself yo all that fangirling.”

“Simon fangirls.” Mia says confused.

“Fanboying is completely different.” He comments indignant.

They all laugh.

----- ----- -----

“Are you sure you don’t mind me rooming with you, Lupe? I can room with Sofi.”

“Agus, you are fine to room with me. My dad cleared the rooms with me a few days ago, when Mia and I decided not to room together. Unless you really want to room with Sofi. I can talk to him for you.”

“No, no. It’s okay.”

Lupe looks surprised at the outburst.

“Sofi and I are always together. Even she can get sick of me.”

“I’m always out practicing. Just don’t be too loud when I’m here.”

“Okay.”

----- ----- -----

“So Juanma what do you think of the school?” Tobias asks.

“I wish we weren’t rooming together.”

“This school isn’t as expensive so not having a bunch of extra rooms makes sense. We are kinda just taking over their school.”

“What with a couple dozen or so of us?” Juanma says as if he doesn’t know the exact number.

“I’m just glad they don’t have the same rules about co-ed in the dorms.” Olivia says.

Did she just disagree with me, Juanma thinks.

“Anyway, Juanma what do you think of our hosts?”

“I think it’s great that we have somewhere relatively close to go to school.”

“What do you think of the people?”

“Ramiro seems nice.”

For once Juanma isn’t sure where she’s going with this.

“What do you think of the daughters? I know Tobias is enraptured with one.”

“They are fine.”

“Really? Just fine. I saw you smiling at Lupe on the way to dorms.”

“Juanma smiled?” Tobias asks incredulously.

Juanma glares at his friend.

“I doubt I was smiling at her. I was smiling while looking in her direction.”

“If you say so.” Olivia singsongs.

----- ----- -----

March 17th, 2018

“Didn’t dad tell us to focus on school and Go! not socializing?” Lupe asks.

“I believe he wanted us to not gossip.”

Lupe glares.

“Either way, mandatory attendance for a party is insane.”

Mia isn’t going to correct her again.

“It’s mandatory? That’s so cool.” Sofi says.

“It’s not mandatory.”

“But you just said.”

“I was being extra. Dad just really implied he wanted Mia and I here.”

“Well it would have been weird if you weren’t at your own house.”

“Agus is right. Anyway, we’re going to go see if we can get this party trending online.” Sofi says, pulling Agus away.

“Trending. Trending is good.” Lupe comments to herself.

“Can we go say hi to Tobias?”

“Mia, you can go say hi to him. You’re almost a grown woman.”

Mia looks unsure. Lupe pushes her 3 feet forward and walks away. She’s proud until...

“Lupe!” Juanma says as they nearly bump into each other.

Her eyes narrow instinctually.

“Hello.” She says coldly.

Juanma bows in reply.

Hahaha. Did he just bow?

“I’m sorry. That was strange. I’m not sure why I did that.”

“Shouted my name or bowed?”

“Bowed actually. Um, the shouting was from surprise. You looked lost.”

“I was congratulating myself.”

“On?”

Lupe starts to gesture towards Mia but remembers she doesn’t like this fool.

“On my house being so beautifully decorated.”

“Oh, did you do it yourself?” He asks, seeming genuinely curious.

“No, I didn’t have time but Martín asked Olivia and I for final say. It’s about 30% my brain child.”

“Nice.”

“Anyway. I have to talk to Zoe.” Lupe lies to get away.

Did Juanma and i just talk like normal humans? Was Juanma a normal human? She remembers the bow and shakes her head.

“Did you and Juanma fight again?” Zoe asks.

Guess she came to find me.

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Because he is standing rather aimlessly on the edge of the dance floor. Did you make fun of his dance skills?”

“No.” Lupe huffs. “We had a pleasant conversation, made strange only by him bowing.”

“Boy likes you.”

Lupe stares at Zoe like she has a third head.

“Come again.”

“Boy. Likes. You.”

“And where did you get that from?”

“The bowing, it seems socially awkward. Like he doesn’t know what to do around you? And can there be another reason he’s talking to Mia right now?”

Lupe looks and Mia is talking to her enemy.

“Everyone talks to Mia. Anyway, how can you be a bad dancer as a coordinated basketball player?”

“Looks like we are about to find out.” Zoe says as Mia leads Juanma to the dance floor.

“Hmm. I wonder what mixes Gaspar has for music today.” Lupe says, trying to be unbothered.

Juanma could have another reason to talk to Mia.

https://youtu.be/IrxKEKaa4ho 

------ ----- -----

Lupe: Juanma isn’t going to get in Tobias’ way, right?

Juanma: It’s not like I’m scared of Lupe. She just wouldn’t want to dance with me.

Mia: This is weird.

Tobias: Mia has such fun.

Olivia: Who doesn’t like a blonde?

Zoe: Not who she was supposed to flirt with.

Simón: Things are getting interesting.

Pride: Your Way

Chapter 1

Lupe and Mia had been asked by Ramiro to welcome their new guests the best way they knew how. By dancing. The girls decided Mia was best for showing the individuality of Saint Mary.

https://youtu.be/z7V78vAi2B8

“What just happened? Was that for real?” Olivia scoffs.

“I liked it,” Tobias says watching the dancers group up.

“Come on. That was sad.”

“It was passionate.”

“Passion won’t win nationals,” Juanma comments, frankly.

“Excuse me,” Lupe asks. “What did you say about my team?”

Juanma turns and faces the raven-haired girl head-on.

“I said passion won’t win nationals.”

“And what would a basketball player like you know about nationals?”

Juanma’s face closes off a bit. Ramiro hears the commotion.

“I’ve been to the competitions. Trust me, that’s not going to win.”

“I’d appreciate it if you dispersed. The girls were welcoming you to the school. Clap and go to class.”

----- ----- -----

“That was rude.” Lupe fumes.

“It was. But did you see the other guy?” Agus sighs.

“He was cute.” Mia acknowledges.

“He was beyond cute,” Sofi says.

“Girls, do you mind grabbing us seats. I want to be in the center of class.” Lupe says.

Sofi and Agus walk off.

“Mia do you have something to tell me?”

Mia turns to deny anything but sees the expression on her sister’s face.

“Ok, the other guy was cute.”

“He’s friends with the person who insulted us.”

“We don’t know that they are friends per se. And it wasn’t so much an insult as a comment.” Mia cuts herself off because Lupe is about to seethe. “But the cute one said we were passionate. You know how much I want my art to reach people.”

Lupe nods. That was Mia’s biggest concern whereas Lupe wanted to win.

“Okay. I think you’re too nice but I’ll give the guy a chance to show himself better than his acquaintances.”

“That’s all I ask. It’s not like I want you to ask the blond for pointers.”

Lupe’s eyes bulge and Mia pulls her forward to class. Then stops abruptly.

“Mia!” Lupe shrieks as she bumps into her.

“Uh, you’ll be able to start forming that opinion now.”

Lupe looks around her and sees the “cute one”. She grins and marches right up to him.

“Where does your friend get off saying that about the Go! team?” 

“Uh, hello.”

“Yes, hello. Tell me.” She crosses her arms.

“Well, Juanma is really opinionated. Sometimes he keeps it to himself. Sometimes he doesn’t.” He glances past Lupe at Mia. “I think you guys are good though.”

“Good? Good is not enough. We are nearly sensational thank you very much.”

“Okay.” He agrees.

“My name is Mia. The angry one is my sister Lupe.” She says, stepping next to his desk.

“Nice to meet you, Mia and Lupe. I’m Tobias.”

Lupe hums.

“And your friend, Juanma was it? How close are you two?”

“Pretty close. We’ve been friends since we were kids.”

“Same,” Mia says, then laughs. “Not me and Lupe but our Go! team. Most of us have known each other forever.”

Lupe sighed internally.

“Class.” The teacher calls.

“I can’t wait to meet them.”

Mia smiles.

“I hope you can forgive Juanma.” 

Lupe grimaces.

“I would be able to forgive him if he had insulted anything besides my team.”

----- ----- -----

“Juanma, you insulted them,” Tobias says.

“Better for them to be insulted at their school than laughed off the national stage.” Juanma comments without looking up from his plate.

Olivia starts laughing.

“Juanma that’s too much. They wouldn’t get laughed off. They just wouldn’t make it that far.”

“Well, I think they would be amazing. The lead girl has great stage presence.”

Olivia and Juanma look at Tobias.

“Okay I might not know much about dancing and singing but I liked it.”

“Oh, they’re exiting the food line. Quick, Tobias do you want the blond or brunette? Y’know got to make sure Juanma doesn’t fall for the wrong girl.” Olivia says with emphasis at the end.

Juanma looks at her disgusted.

“The blond,” Tobias answers with a dopey grin.

Olivia shakes her head at her brother.

“Girls, come sit with us.” She waves them over.

Mia looks at their friends then Lupe.

“If you want to go ahead,” Lupe says, apathetic.

“Lupe, Mia come sit with us.” She repeats.

Lupe is thankful her father hates eye-rolling or else she wouldn’t be able to control herself.

“How does she know our names?” Lupe whispers to Sofi and Agus.

“Can we sit with them?” Mia asks.

“Fine. But you’re sitting next to Juanma. I want the “cute one”.”

Mia looks heartbroken.

“To sit by.” Lupe corrects herself.

“Are they going to sit or what?” Olivia mutters.

“Ciao,” Zoe says, smiling.

“Hi,” Mia says sitting between Juanma and Olivia.

“Hi.” Tobias returns, smiling.

Across works too, Lupe thinks.

“So you’re dancers?” Olivia asks.

“We are,” Mia answers, cheerfully.

“I used to dance. We won nationals when I was a sophomore.”

“But Pemberly doesn’t have a team.” Lupe blurts, confused.

“We transferred last year.” Tobias provides.

“Oh, I know! I’m going to have a get together this weekend. So we can all get to know each other.”

Juanma makes eye contact with Lupe. She narrows her eyes at him and looks away.

“Isn’t it a bit early to party?” Lupe asks.

“I don’t think it is,” Tobias says. “What about you, Mia? Feel like a party?”

“Always.”

And we’re lost, Lupe thinks.

----- ----- -----

Lupe: Tobias is not so bad. Juanma is to be ignored. But does Go! Need something?

Juanma: Can the teachers announce their decision about Basketball yet?... Lupe has nice eyes.

Mia: I hope Lupe like Tobias.

Tobias: Mia

Zoe: They are all overreacting.

Simón: Everyone is so cute!

Olivia: Will Juanma dance with me?

Sofi: where are the cutest basketball players?

Agus: Whatever Sofi is thinking.

Martín: Go! Costumes are much more important than Pemberly gang.

Pride: Your Way

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a dancer with music will perform.

Lupe and Mia looked at each other.

“Ready to start the year?” Lupe asked.

“With you by my side. Always.” Mia smiled back.

The team started practices following their co-captain sisters.

----- ----- -----

Aunt Isabel was giving her closing statements for the workshop when Simon yelped.

“What?” Zoe hissed, embarrassed.

“Pemberly Academia is coming to St. Mary”

“Wait, wait, wait Like the school with the all-star basketball team?” Sofi shrieks.

“Which was founded by designer Paco Jamandreu?” Martín asks from the corner.

“Class dismissed.” Aunt Isabel comments before walking out.

“Yes. Yes to all that.” Simon says, looking at his phone.

“What for?” Lupe asks.

“They--- they had some last-minute refurbishing that requires their students to be dispersed amongst local boarding schools.” Simon gasps out.

“Breath, Simon. So some super talented athletes are coming to our school. So what?” Zoe rolls her eyes.

“So our school will be on the news. Possibly more than once.” Lupe says, grinning.

“Let’s talk to Dad,” Mia replies.

----- ----- -----

“Yes, some of the Pemberly school is joining us,” Ramiro says, looking at the two girls sitting across from him in his office.

His two girls who couldn’t look less alike any more than they act alike.

“Dad, we’re going to need more information,” Lupe demands.

He folds his hands together.

“How long are they staying?” Mia suggests.

“A semester.”

“Are they playing for us or them?” Lupe wonders.

“That hasn’t been decided yet. The team may end up being split up.”

“Why are they remodeling when school is coming back?” Mia asks, curious.

“Girls, I’ve given you as much information as I can. Shouldn’t you be focused on settling in for the semester?”

“Yes, dad. Thanks again for letting us room next to each other.” Lupe says, kissing her father.

The girls leave. Lupe looks at Mia. Mia is confused about why Lupe has a suspicious expression.

Nostalgic

Oh, how I long

For days of long ago

How I wish

We could go back

I wish we lived

In the days

Of yesteryear

How great that would be

Poem to Me

Please forgive me
I've been so broken
Please forgive me
For the words I've spoken

I don't know how
To prevent your cry
I don't know how
To not live a lie

Jaded: Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Okay. What happened?" Allison asks sitting down.

"Nothing." I say, looking at my food.

"Don't give me that. I didn’t watch you two make eyes at each other for 3 periods to get nothing."

I look at Finn and he smiles.

"Make eyes. You'd think she was a grandma." He mutters.

"My hearing is still good you know. Lizzie, I know what happened. Just say it."

"Fine. We're dating. Nosy."

"Yes!" Allison exclaims, pumping her fist.

"What are you so excited about?" Chloe asks, joining us.

"They're dating. I told you they wouldn't last 5 weeks."

Finn and I look at each other.

"There was a bet?" He asks.

"No. A bet implies there was a pool of money depending on the outcome. It was just an discussion."

"Because that's okay." I sigh. "Guys, could you keep it quiet though? We don't need everyone finding out."

"Finding out what?" Allison asks. "Everyone already considers you two together. You just had to get the memo."

"Everyone here might known. But we'll keep it from getting to the public." Chloe says. "Finn's one of us."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing." He says.

"You know you're happy to be the first guy ever to say he goes to Alden for Girls." Allison replies.

"If you say so. It's almost time for class."

He picks up our stuff and helps me up.

"What happened to your bags, Lizzie?" Chloe asks.

"I decided not to read my textbooks at school."

"But you should still have one bag. What about the books you need for class?"

"I've got them." Finn says.

I sigh.

"Eliza, are you worried about this afternoon?"

"I'm fine. Just a little tired."

Finn looks at me.

"I'll tell you if it's anything worse, okay?"

"Okay." He whispers back.

"Are you guys sharing books?" Chloe asks.

"It makes sense. We sit next to each other in all our classes. Plus, Eliza's already read them."

"They're sharing books, Allison."

"I knew it would be like this. They're all cutesy and in the newlywed phase. They'll forget all about us."

"Never." I say, smiling at them.

"I have." Finn states.

And we all laugh.
----- ----- -----

My new doctor was surprised Dr. Lillian let me travel. I told him the condition doesn't limit my flight. But he doesn't think the distance from medical attention is good for me. He'll be making biweekly visits to make sure my migraines don't get worse. It's a little scary.

----- ----- -----

"So what's new?" Belle asks as we sit down to dinner.

"Lizzie and Finn are dating!" Jenn says.

"Everyone knows Jenn. I don't have any news since Saturday." I say looking around the table.

"Jenn, how are you doing?" Caleb asks.

"I'm great. Mr. Lawrence asked me to give a sample presentation in class. Which is really cool because he must think I'm really smart."

"You are really smart." Belle says.

Jenn blushes.

"How is ______ Lawrence?" Delilah asks, glancing at Belle.

"He's good." I answer. "He's a motivating teacher."

"Hmm, we should have a coed event for Alden Academies soon."

"Delilah, stop looking at me. You're not subtle. And just because you haven't seen the teachers lately doesn't mean I haven't."

"So you admit there's something on?"

Jenn and I look at each other.

"Mr. Lawrence?" I mouth.

"Wait, between Mr. Lawrence and Belle?" Jenn asks aloud.

"Yes. Delilah's convinced there was a mutual connection when he started teaching." Arthur says.

"No." She says. "He was interested in high school too. It was always Belle that, Belle this."

"Weird." I say.

Belle looks at me.

"No. I understand him being interested in you. It's just hard to picture since he's my teacher."

"He respected her." Caleb says. "And that's that."

"Thank you, Caleb." Belle says, still looking at me.

"Let's move on." Arthur says. "Lizzie, would you be willing to join a meeting with the foundation this week? We could set it up for Friday after you get out of school."

"Um, sure. What's it for?" I ask.

"Well we all have our different charities and events. You can set one up as the Peyton ward."

"We'll all be there for you." Caleb says.

"I'll do it. We don't have school Friday though. We can set up a morning meeting so everyone still gets out on time."

"Everyone would get out on time anyway." Belle says. "But it's good that you think of the staff."

I feel like I'm being groomed for something.
----- ----- -----

"Elizabeth Gent born to Zara and Luke Gent has no results." The older woman says.

"In the entirety of Massachusetts?" I ask.

"No, dear. There's are no Elizabeth Gents born in Massachusetts. Do you have any other information, like mother's maiden name or anything?"

"My mom's maiden name was Zara Mills."

"She has the same maiden name as the Simms mother." The woman observes, typing.

"Yes. But no relation."

"Here's a Beth Mills born to Zara Mills in 1998 in Hyannis. How's that dear?"

"No. I was born in 1997 in Plymouth."

"Didn't realize there were so many Zaras in that time." She says.

That's an odd thing to say.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"You're the Peyton ward, correct?"

"Yes." I say.

"It's nice to see an orphan with so much influence. Use it well."

"Thanks, ma'am. I'll try." I wave and walk out of the research library.

"How did it go?" Finn asks as I get in the car.

"One second." I say, leaning back and closing my eyes.

Finn takes my hand. I open my eyes and smile weakly.

"Nothing. No Elizabeth Gents in Massachusetts, ever. I wasn't born here."

"Yes, you were Eliza. But you remember Massachusetts as a home state."

"But that's the problem. I don't remember anything about it. I've called it home for so long. But it's not. I have no documentation to support an idea a blocked brain provided."

"Don't call your brain blocked. It's just not telling you everything. You might not be in the system or you might not be under the right name."

"There was a Beth Mills born to Zara Mills. But it was the wrong year and town."

"Your mom's name was Zara?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't know that. Tell me about her."

"I know you're just distracting me."

"I want to know." He says, squeezing my hand. "If it helps you relax to so be it."

""

I tell him aboout how she would pick me up from school and take me exploring. She'd tell me about history and science. She made sure I was always learning and growing with her. I tell him the few stories I remember of my dad.

"Where are we going?" I ask, suddenly.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice until we were on the boat."

"You want me to be more observant and then say things like that. Are we going back to that small island?"

"Yeah. You seemed to like it before."

"I did. Thank you." I clam back up.

Finn parks. We buy the tickets and rush to the next ferry. I write and Finn listens to music.

"Eliza." Finn pokes me. "We're departing."

We follow the few people off the boat. Finn lifts me down again and smiles at me.

"I'm having deja vu."

"But you have been here before."

"It's more than that. It feels like I'm doing an old habit."

"Well you said you'd explore with your parents on the weekend, right?" I nod. "Maybe you'd come here."

"Maybe."

We walk to the shop again. And I stop in front of the painting from last time.

"Oh my goodness." An 80 year old man says, coming up. "You've come back."

He hugs me and I freeze.

"And the little boy." He says, letting go and hugging Finn.

Finn looks at me and I shrug back.

"It's been years. You two are so much bigger now. You went from children." He points to the painting. "To young adults. I guess, I'm not so young either."

"I'm sorry. I'm not sure we've met." Finn says.

"Of course we have. You're named after some sort of animal. And this young lady has the prettiest smile. It makes all your pain go away." He whispers to Finn.

"My name is Elizabeth Gent." I say, holding out my hand.

"There's the smile!" He shouts.

A young woman comes up.

"Grandpa. Let's go on a walk."

"Perfect blend of her father and mother." He says following his granddaughter. "With their tragedy, it's nice to see."

I start to follow them. A woman comes into my path.

"I'm sorry about my father. He gets very confused. He's still looking for the little girl in his painting."

"He painted this?"

"Yes. You have her hair color and he must have ran with it. I apologize. Enjoy ______." She says, following her family out.

I gasp and close my eyes.

"Another migraine?" Finn asks.

"No. It was just a sharp pain. It's gone."

"Time to go."

"But the older man…"

"I don't think his daughter wants us talking to him. We'll try next week."

I look at Finn.

"No. You need to take your time. The mystery won't unravel any faster if you're in bed in pain."

"Fine. Next week."

We walk back to the dock. We sit and watch the ocean.

"So what were you writing on our way over?" Finn asks.

I hand him my notebook. And he reads silently.

Fatherless boys
And motherless girls
They all unite
Living the tale

Don’t know what it means
Or remember too well
Being a member
Forming a family

People pity them
Sigh when they hear
What their history is
What their life has been

Fatherless boys
And motherless girls
To them I relate
And with them as well

I hate the word orphan

"What happened?" Finn asks, handing me my notebook back.

"In addition to telling me I wasn't born here, the research lady told me to do a good job as the Peyton ward. I'm an orphan with a lot of power. I know I'm an orphan. I wake up every morning knowing I don't have what other people do. But that's not all I am. I don't want to be known as the SOS with power. I want to be Elizabeth Gent, the girl who did what she could. One word doesn't define me."

Finn sighs and hugs me.

"You're so much more than your circumstances. I wish people could see past it. You have the potential to be the girl who changed the world. I'm sorry you have to hear that from everyone."

Con vs Pro

I hear someone say recently, "You say it's the worst it can get, but then it always gets worse. It can always get worse."

All I could think was, "I truly hope the worst is behind me."

Worst moments:
1 - When I almost lost Grey.
2 - When I was sure suicidal ideation was going to beat Purple after all - "suicidal panic attack" as I named the only one I've experienced.
3 - When I fully realized mom would never again hold me as I cried.
4 - When I couldn't see Indigo in the hospital because I was underage. Even though I was the final trigger.
5 - When I did see Indigo in the hospital.
6 - When Emerald was lost downtown, late at night, and all I could do was wait on Blue to help.
7 - When I had a second extreme panic attack at school. The first, at 7, was confusing. The second was, at 13, frustrating, embarrassing and the beginning of the end of public school.
8 - When I realized what a homicidal, suicidal mess Purple was, by reading a collection of poems written at 12. Would never attempt but the fact that such dark thoughts existed? That terrified me.
9 - When I was born.
10 - When Indigo moved out. And I couldn't no longer turn to them to give and receive support.
11 - When I couldn't see where Indigo and Emerald were in the shelter. I couldn't see their beds so I couldn't sleep.

Best moments:
1 - When Burgundy was born.
2 - When Burgundy was the winning factor Purple had over the "suicidal panic attack".
3 - When Burgundy made me smile in spite of the remaining migraine.
4 - When I gained a real Father, 26 days before I turned eleven.
5 - When I spoke to my Father in the language of my heart, at 19 years old.
6 - When I joked around with Blue as we shopped.
7 - When I reunited with my "soulmate/other half"
8 - When I laughed at Grey's stubborn consumption of almonds, despite their allergy.
9 - When I hung out with my pair of lovelies even though I was tired. 2.5 & 4 years old still makes me smile.
10 - When I followed my lovelies up with more fun. And partied through a torn ligament in my just relocated knee.
11 - When Indigo came back.
12 - When Indigo came home.
13 - When Emerald hugged me as I sobbed, at 17. Almost as good as mom.
14 - When Emerald, Indigo and I promised to be there for each other.
15 - When I realized, at 21.5, the day I almost died was 10.75 months ago. I'm close to being a year survivor. The anniversary isn't known for sure. But my guess is late May to mid June.

So yes, bad things happen. But along with the negative that can come, positive definitely will accompany it. It may even outweigh it.

The worst may not be behind me. But I know the best is out there too. Both ways, present and future the best is waiting to even it out. And then one day give a surplus.

And no matter how worse it gets, my previous worst have prepared me to face it all unafraid that it will win. It won't win because I have been trained not to lose. Or even think I could lose.