Jaded: Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I shoot up in bed and check the time. 2:14 am. Jennifer’s nightmares usually come between 12 and 1. We’ve passed the critical point. I lay back down.

Only now I can’t sleep. I’m fully awake. 2:38 am. I’m going for a walk. I check on Jenn. She’s sound asleep.

I slip outside to the backyard.

I’m going to a benefit. I’ve been seeing young enterpeanuers go to benefits for as long as I can remember. Magazines would feature them and their celebrity guests. There were even a few shown on TV. And I’ll be attending one.

I sit against the tree and stare up at the stars.

I hear a sigh. I lean around the tree.

“Finn?”

“Oh, hi Eliza. What are you doing out here?”

“I was planning on going on a walk but I’m sitting against this tree instead. How about you?”

“Couldn’t sleep, again.”

I stare at him, wide-eyed. Finn has a steady sleep pattern.

“How are the girls doing without their fearless leader?” Finn asks robotically.

“Do you actually care or are you just turning the conversation?”

“I care.” He says, glancing at me. “Did I do something to bother you?”

“You keep getting lost in thought and observing. Now you’re not sleeping. I feel like I ruined your senior year by uprooting you.”

“I’m just doing my job.”

I lean away from him. He scoots over.

“That’s not how I meant it, Eliza. I’m observing and thinking because I’m doing my job. I’m glad I get to go to school with you. I told you that. I just don’t want to get in your way.”

“You’re not getting in my way by being a part of the conversation. You wouldn’t be getting in my way if you wanted to suggest anything. I want to enjoy going to school with you too. I want to see your hometown through your eyes.”

“I moved here when I was eight.”

“I’ve moved around since I was eight. I don’t even remember which street I grew up on. Seeing that connection for someone else is amazing.”

“Fine, we’ll go this weekend.” He says, closing his eyes and leaning against the tree.

“Finn? Are you okay?”

“I’m just…”

“Don’t you dare say lost in thought!”

He opens his eyes and smiles, lazily.

Don’t distract me by smiling either.

“Alright, alright. It’s just a little uncomfortable being home. I haven’t had a routine at home since I was 14. It’s difficult having them telling me what to do after being so independent.”

I hum in reply because I have nothing to say.

Finn sits straight up.

“Oh man, Eliza. I’m so sorry. I don’t have anything to complain about. That was rude of me.”

“Finn, I already told you. You don’t have to feel bad talking about your family. I’m used to not having a mom and dad. I may not always understand but it’s a part of who you are so I’ll try.”

Finn nods.

“It’s just a bit strange because they raised me to be an independent child.”

I wonder what kind of child I was.

“But now they’re reluctant to let me do my own thing. Dad’s reminding me to train and the code of conduct. Mom’s telling me to schedule and wash my clothes.”

“Do you have a hard time remembering to wash your clothes?”

“Well, we can’t all have maids like some people.” He says nudging me. “No, I don’t. She’s just being a mom.”

“Okay. What’s the code of conduct?”

“My dad’s school demands respect, trust and sacrifice. We conduct ourselves in a dignified way to be respected. We instill trust by not treating a client as a friend or being romantically involved with them. And we are willing to protect our client at the highest cost.”

“Why in the world did you get picked to be my bodyguard, then?”

“That’s what I’m wondering.”

“I mean, you’re dignified enough and I completely trust you. But you were my friend before you were my bodyguard.”

Finn nods and our eyes met. I look away immediately.

Just friend.

“Why would they have my friend watch me?”

“I think it was to make you feel comfortable. My dad chose a young adult so you wouldn’t stand out too much at school.”

“Because bringing a boy doesn’t make me stand out.”

Finn laughs and leans back.

“Wait Finn, are you willing to sacrifice anything to protect me?”

“I’m hoping it won’t come to that because I’d have only a split second to decide.”

“Some guard.” I mutter.

“I’m kidding, Eliza. I would be willing to protect you no matter what, even if I wasn’t your guard.” He says, putting an arm around me.

“Good. So should I ask your dad to fire you so you stop being so reserved?”

“Getting paid to go to school is nice and I’m not breaking all the rules yet so no.”

“Alright but I’m firing you the moment you stop being dignified.”

“Deal.”

We watch the stars for a moment.

“I’m going for my walk.” I say, standing.

Finn catches up to me.

“Are you ever going to tell me your story with Jenn?”

----- ----- -----

“I won’t leave Jenn!” I declare.

“Jenn will be fine. You knew we specialize in young girls.”

You shouldn’t. You’re not kind enough.

“We’ve been looking for fosters since you turned 10.”

She pushes me through the door.

“No. Jenn and I need each other. We make each other better.”

“Elizabeth. Stop this right now.”

“We don’t have room for problematic girls. Maybe the timing isn’t---.” Says the woman I met last week.

“No. She’s a great girl. She cares for the younger girls well.”

I care for one girl.

“You and Jennifer may correspond via letter. Give her a book and she’ll be fine.” Roxanne says to the couple, handing the man my belongings.

I follow them out. Once I got in the car I look at the building. Jenn's in the side yard staring at me. I wave as long as I could see her and try not to cry.

We traded letters for 10 months.

“Beth, you have mail.” Mr. _____ says at the breakfast table.

I open the letter.

Dear Jennifer,

I’m glad school is going so well. Congratulations on your test scores. I knew there was a reason you could understand my homework.

I’m good. Mr. and Mrs. ____ are still trying to get me to call them by their first names. It feels rude though. We’re going on a road trip starting August 16, two weeks before school.

How is your first week of summer?

Love, Beth

I drop the envelope in confusion.

“Beth? What’s wrong?” Mrs. _____ asks.

“This fell out.” Kendall says, handing me a piece of paper.

Jennifer has been adopted by a young woman. Take care, Elizabeth Gent.

Ms. Roxanne ______

I didn’t leave my room for a week. It took me another week to leave the house.

“Beth, assisting Doug starts this week. I know you’re sad but can you do it with me?” Kendall asks.

“Yes.” I say, picking up a new book.

“You just put down your last one. Do you want to go skating with us?”

I shake my head.

I worked the rest of the summer. We went on our road trip and school started. Roxanne _____ would not give me Jenn’s new address.

Then the ______ had to stop being fosters to care for her mom. They adopted Kendall while the other three girls were sent to an orphanage. Our records got lost in the scuffle. Our records were based on our memory.

I was only in the orphanage for 3 months before I was taken into another one.

A year passed with me going to school, reading, and assisting Mrs. ____ with errands and tutoring.

An announcement shook the home.

I wasn’t interested but Mrs. _____ made every girl take it. We lived so close to the academy that she would be able to see us.

I passed because of the training I had in obscure subjects such as Latin.

“Girls. We have a new family member, Jennifer.” Mrs. Bachchan says.

I’m not going to look up. I’m not falling for it again. Jennifer is happily adopted.

“Go ahead, dear. Introduce yourself.”

“My name is Jennifer _____.” Comes the clear voice.

I look up.

I scream and stand.

“Beth Gent. What are you doing?”

“Elizabeth Gent? Lizzie?” Jennifer asks as I hug her.

“Jenn. Jennifer is that really you?”

“It’s me, Lizzie. Is it you?”

“Yes.” I say, laughing and tearing up. “This is really happening.”

“Oh, Lizzie, I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too. But what are you doing here?”

“My mom, Susan, I was adopted.” I nod. “She died three weeks ago.” Jenn starts crying.

I hug her tighter.

“Why don’t you girls go catch up? I’ll save some lunch for you.” Mrs. Bachchan says.

I lead Jenn to my room. She tells me all about her adoptive mom and their lives together. She tells me about the past month, how Susan was just running an errand. She was supposed to be gone for an hour. Then her adoptive grandfather picked up a call. She had spun off the road and hit a tree. She was only 42.

“Jenn, I’m so sorry. You’ve had to experience so much pain in such a short life.”

Her mom, dad, aunt, cousin and now adoptive mom.

“Papa moved to a home in this town. I’m not alone. And I found you again.” Jenn’s eyes widen. “I’m sorry I never wrote you. The first 6 months were hard to adjust to. I wrote you last January but it was returned.”

“It’s okay.”

“I promised myself I would apologize the moment I saw you.”

“Jennifer, it is okay. Roxanne _____ told me you got adopted. I was happy to know you were being taken care of.”

“I actually never stopped writing to you. Hold on.”

Jenn runs to her suitcase. She comes back with a box.

We read her letters and relive the moments.

While Jenn eats a late lunch, I talk to Mrs. Bachchan. She promises to make sure Jenn stays in town so she can be near me and test for the academy.

Thankfully two years later she got in as well.

----- ----- -----

“Wow. I never knew.”

“Lindsay is the only one I’ve told.”

“You’d never guess that Jenn has gone through all that.”

“She’s great at hiding it. And she’s dealt with most of it.”

“Yeah?” Finn looks at me. “I knew you moved a lot but the _____ adopted Kendall only?”

“She had been with them the longest and knew Mrs. ____'s mother. She was basically their daughter.”

“But it was another big change in such a short time period.”

“Finn, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that things change quickly.”

“I guess but didn’t you want to be a part of a family?”

“I don’t think the tradition type of family is the only kind of family. I love and care about the ____ and I’ll continue to do so even if I don’t know where they are or what they’re doing. To me, that’s family.”

“That makes sense. I mean that’s what my family has done for years. Eliza?”

“Yes?” I ask surprised.

He doesn't really have to get my attention since he already has it.

“Will you be my date next Saturday?”

Next Saturday? What’s happening next Saturday?

“For the benefit? Of course. How did you hear about it?”

“My dad called me as soon as school let out. I knew the Simms would want to tell you.”

“Oh, ok. I was going to ask you to be my date and, um, bodyguard tomorrow. Or rather, today.”

“Yeah, I guess you can’t go with anyone else anyway.”

“Well not when I have my own built in bodyguard/escort.”

“You know what? I have training tomorrow morning. I should get to sleep.” Finn says, standing.

I barely get out a bye before he jogs away.

Did I say something wrong?

----- ----- -----

Finn fulfilled his promise. We're exploring the town.

But he's not speaking to me.

"What happened between you and Finn?" Allison asks.

"Nothing."

"Lizzie, he hasn't smiled this entire time. You two were silent in the front seat. Something happened."

"I thought it was going pretty well. We talked Friday. There were awkward pauses. I visited Michelle and he walked me home."

"What kind of awkward pauses?

"Like we'd be talking and our eyes would meet. The person whose turn it was would be silent. And then I'd look away."

"Wow, girl. For all your maturity and intelligence, you don't know anything about developing a relationship. That’s the time to flirt."

"I don't know how to flirt."

"Yes you do." I look at her surprised. :You and Finn can't have a conversation without flirting. It’s just not intentional so when your subconscious picks it up, you both freeze.Then, you change the path. But that can't be the only problem. What else?"

"Guys, hurry up." Mandy beckons us as Finn helps her off the boat.

We walk down. Finn helps Allison and then reaches out his hand. I'm about to take it, when he puts his hands on my waist and lifts me down.

"Since your balance is terrible."

I'm getting deja vu.

"I can get off a boat." I say.

Finn shrugs before catching up with the other girls.

"See what I mean? No progress, ever. But seriously, there's something else."

"I told him a personal story. And we're going to the benefit together."

"As a date?"

I relay our conversation.

"That's the second time you two faked me out. Lizzie, he asked you on a date."

"But he was already going to the benefit. And he says date all the time. I don't think he meant anything by it."

"You said you visited Michelle, right?"

"Yeah. So what?

"Did she show you videos and pictures of the family?"

"Yeah. Have you seen them?"

Allison smiles.

"No. He won't let anyone see them. He says they're too embarrassing. The fact that you've seen them means you're different. You said you've been talking about things you avoided before. You're willing to share all."

"But we're both reserved. Maybe we're finally able to share these things."

"And maybe the sky's green. You are both reserved. And it's only because I'm so chill that you've opened up to me so much. But there's a force causing you to think of all the things you don't know about each other. You need to stop repressing it by looking away or changing the topic. Or it may ruin your relationship."

We enter the gallery.

"I'll let you think about that." Allison says, walking away.

I look at some jewelry and paintings. I stop at a painting of a little boy and girl at the shore. Finn walks by.

"Finn, is this the shore we walked past?"

He glances at the painting.

"Yeah."

Stop repressing it, I think.

"I like this painting."

"You've been looking at it for 10 minutes. I'm not surprised."

I'm silent. I guess he feels bad because he leans in to look closer.

"She has your hair."

"Yeah, I guess she does." I say, touching my dirty blonde hair.

"It's been here for years. Other things change but they haven't sold this yet."

"Maybe the artist doesn't want it sold. I feel like the message reaches more people this way."

"What's the message?" He asks, curious.

"I think we're supposed to imagine ourselves as the young kids on the beach. There's a joy and freshness that the painting gives off. Maybe it's their first time for the summer or their last. Maybe it was a surprise or an event looked forward to."

"Maybe." He says, walking to the next painting.

Allison walks up.

"I don't know if I can face the force alone." I whisper to her.