Highly Sensitive Person

I don't enjoying being with more than a handful of people. I'm too aware of what everyone in the room is feeling. Or what I think they're feeling. I'm aware of every reaction. I'm aware of thoughts that lead to conversations. And what's worse, is I'm aware of where people get confused.

Being in a room full of people is a burden when you're hypersensitive to everyone. I want everyone to be happy with each other. I want everyone to be satisfied with the situation. I get overly involved in people's lives while they're with me.

I missed a lot of school as a child. I only recently realized it's because I internalized things at school and home until I was physically ill. That realization gave me so much comfort because I had always felt like a brat or a hypochondriac. It freed me but it's also burdensome.

One of my missions in taking care of myself is putting some emotional distance between me and people. What they say or do; how they feel shouldn’t push me physically and end my day. I need to be able to carry on. I just have to be careful not to distant myself too much.

29,061 words!

P.S. Tonight I kept misspelling they're, their, and there. I need to go to sleep.