Pride: Your Way

Chapter 2

March 12th, 2018

“So Mia do you like him?” Zoe asks at Go!

“He’s sweet.”

Zoe raises an eyebrow.

“Do you like him?” She repeats with emphasis.

“Maybe.” Mia giggles. “I haven’t even known him a day.”

“Either way. Maybe you should be less you about it.”

“Excuse me?” Lupe says coming to her sister’s defense.

“I think what Zoe means is Mia should flirt,” Simon explains.

Sofi and Agus start laughing.

“Mia? Flirt?” Martin asks incredulously.

“Yes, flirt. How else would he know she likes him anymore than a stranger? She’s too bubbly with everyone for him to tell a difference.”

Mia looks downcast.

“Whatever Zoe. Would you ever do that?” Lupe asks.

“If necessary.” She replies as Aunt Isabel walks in. “I hope he realizes how you feel.”

“Class is starting. Team start stretching while I look at Martin’s concepts.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

----- ----- -----

March 13th, 2018

“Juanma and Lupe.”

Stupid mixed second and third year elective, Lupe curses.

“Hi.” Juanma says, sitting down.

“Hi.” Lupe says, checking herself in the mirror.

“I’m, um, surprised you don’t want Olivia to have her party.”

And I’m surprised you speak.

“It’s not like we didn’t have the summer to party. And Go! needs work.”

Juanma pauses in setting up his multi colored pens.

“Right. Tobias mentioned you might have been upset by what I said.”

“Oh, no. I love when people criticize things they know nothing about. Especially when it’s my art and friends who have been working so long and hard at something.”

“I told you, I’ve been to the competitions. I’m not just saying it.”

“Fine. How about the fact that it was one performance meant to be informal with new members?”

“Um.”

“Exactly. Maybe wait until you have solid evidence that we suck.”

“That’s not...”

“Class dismissed.”

Lupe stalks out.

----- ----- -----

March 14th, 2018

“Why aren’t you rooming with Lupe?” Zoe asks again as Mis starts unpacking.

“Because we are sisters. And too much time together can put our lives at risk.”

“As if you could ever hurt anyone.” Simon says.

“SIblings bring out a different side.” Mia says, simply. “Plus we’re good friends aren’t we Zoe? Or would you rather I room with Sofi?”

“You’re my best friend after Simon. I could never let you submit yourself yo all that fangirling.”

“Simon fangirls.” Mia says confused.

“Fanboying is completely different.” He comments indignant.

They all laugh.

----- ----- -----

“Are you sure you don’t mind me rooming with you, Lupe? I can room with Sofi.”

“Agus, you are fine to room with me. My dad cleared the rooms with me a few days ago, when Mia and I decided not to room together. Unless you really want to room with Sofi. I can talk to him for you.”

“No, no. It’s okay.”

Lupe looks surprised at the outburst.

“Sofi and I are always together. Even she can get sick of me.”

“I’m always out practicing. Just don’t be too loud when I’m here.”

“Okay.”

----- ----- -----

“So Juanma what do you think of the school?” Tobias asks.

“I wish we weren’t rooming together.”

“This school isn’t as expensive so not having a bunch of extra rooms makes sense. We are kinda just taking over their school.”

“What with a couple dozen or so of us?” Juanma says as if he doesn’t know the exact number.

“I’m just glad they don’t have the same rules about co-ed in the dorms.” Olivia says.

Did she just disagree with me, Juanma thinks.

“Anyway, Juanma what do you think of our hosts?”

“I think it’s great that we have somewhere relatively close to go to school.”

“What do you think of the people?”

“Ramiro seems nice.”

For once Juanma isn’t sure where she’s going with this.

“What do you think of the daughters? I know Tobias is enraptured with one.”

“They are fine.”

“Really? Just fine. I saw you smiling at Lupe on the way to dorms.”

“Juanma smiled?” Tobias asks incredulously.

Juanma glares at his friend.

“I doubt I was smiling at her. I was smiling while looking in her direction.”

“If you say so.” Olivia singsongs.

----- ----- -----

March 17th, 2018

“Didn’t dad tell us to focus on school and Go! not socializing?” Lupe asks.

“I believe he wanted us to not gossip.”

Lupe glares.

“Either way, mandatory attendance for a party is insane.”

Mia isn’t going to correct her again.

“It’s mandatory? That’s so cool.” Sofi says.

“It’s not mandatory.”

“But you just said.”

“I was being extra. Dad just really implied he wanted Mia and I here.”

“Well it would have been weird if you weren’t at your own house.”

“Agus is right. Anyway, we’re going to go see if we can get this party trending online.” Sofi says, pulling Agus away.

“Trending. Trending is good.” Lupe comments to herself.

“Can we go say hi to Tobias?”

“Mia, you can go say hi to him. You’re almost a grown woman.”

Mia looks unsure. Lupe pushes her 3 feet forward and walks away. She’s proud until...

“Lupe!” Juanma says as they nearly bump into each other.

Her eyes narrow instinctually.

“Hello.” She says coldly.

Juanma bows in reply.

Hahaha. Did he just bow?

“I’m sorry. That was strange. I’m not sure why I did that.”

“Shouted my name or bowed?”

“Bowed actually. Um, the shouting was from surprise. You looked lost.”

“I was congratulating myself.”

“On?”

Lupe starts to gesture towards Mia but remembers she doesn’t like this fool.

“On my house being so beautifully decorated.”

“Oh, did you do it yourself?” He asks, seeming genuinely curious.

“No, I didn’t have time but Martín asked Olivia and I for final say. It’s about 30% my brain child.”

“Nice.”

“Anyway. I have to talk to Zoe.” Lupe lies to get away.

Did Juanma and i just talk like normal humans? Was Juanma a normal human? She remembers the bow and shakes her head.

“Did you and Juanma fight again?” Zoe asks.

Guess she came to find me.

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Because he is standing rather aimlessly on the edge of the dance floor. Did you make fun of his dance skills?”

“No.” Lupe huffs. “We had a pleasant conversation, made strange only by him bowing.”

“Boy likes you.”

Lupe stares at Zoe like she has a third head.

“Come again.”

“Boy. Likes. You.”

“And where did you get that from?”

“The bowing, it seems socially awkward. Like he doesn’t know what to do around you? And can there be another reason he’s talking to Mia right now?”

Lupe looks and Mia is talking to her enemy.

“Everyone talks to Mia. Anyway, how can you be a bad dancer as a coordinated basketball player?”

“Looks like we are about to find out.” Zoe says as Mia leads Juanma to the dance floor.

“Hmm. I wonder what mixes Gaspar has for music today.” Lupe says, trying to be unbothered.

Juanma could have another reason to talk to Mia.

https://youtu.be/IrxKEKaa4ho 

------ ----- -----

Lupe: Juanma isn’t going to get in Tobias’ way, right?

Juanma: It’s not like I’m scared of Lupe. She just wouldn’t want to dance with me.

Mia: This is weird.

Tobias: Mia has such fun.

Olivia: Who doesn’t like a blonde?

Zoe: Not who she was supposed to flirt with.

Simón: Things are getting interesting.

Pride: Your Way

Chapter 1

Lupe and Mia had been asked by Ramiro to welcome their new guests the best way they knew how. By dancing. The girls decided Mia was best for showing the individuality of Saint Mary.

https://youtu.be/z7V78vAi2B8

“What just happened? Was that for real?” Olivia scoffs.

“I liked it,” Tobias says watching the dancers group up.

“Come on. That was sad.”

“It was passionate.”

“Passion won’t win nationals,” Juanma comments, frankly.

“Excuse me,” Lupe asks. “What did you say about my team?”

Juanma turns and faces the raven-haired girl head-on.

“I said passion won’t win nationals.”

“And what would a basketball player like you know about nationals?”

Juanma’s face closes off a bit. Ramiro hears the commotion.

“I’ve been to the competitions. Trust me, that’s not going to win.”

“I’d appreciate it if you dispersed. The girls were welcoming you to the school. Clap and go to class.”

----- ----- -----

“That was rude.” Lupe fumes.

“It was. But did you see the other guy?” Agus sighs.

“He was cute.” Mia acknowledges.

“He was beyond cute,” Sofi says.

“Girls, do you mind grabbing us seats. I want to be in the center of class.” Lupe says.

Sofi and Agus walk off.

“Mia do you have something to tell me?”

Mia turns to deny anything but sees the expression on her sister’s face.

“Ok, the other guy was cute.”

“He’s friends with the person who insulted us.”

“We don’t know that they are friends per se. And it wasn’t so much an insult as a comment.” Mia cuts herself off because Lupe is about to seethe. “But the cute one said we were passionate. You know how much I want my art to reach people.”

Lupe nods. That was Mia’s biggest concern whereas Lupe wanted to win.

“Okay. I think you’re too nice but I’ll give the guy a chance to show himself better than his acquaintances.”

“That’s all I ask. It’s not like I want you to ask the blond for pointers.”

Lupe’s eyes bulge and Mia pulls her forward to class. Then stops abruptly.

“Mia!” Lupe shrieks as she bumps into her.

“Uh, you’ll be able to start forming that opinion now.”

Lupe looks around her and sees the “cute one”. She grins and marches right up to him.

“Where does your friend get off saying that about the Go! team?” 

“Uh, hello.”

“Yes, hello. Tell me.” She crosses her arms.

“Well, Juanma is really opinionated. Sometimes he keeps it to himself. Sometimes he doesn’t.” He glances past Lupe at Mia. “I think you guys are good though.”

“Good? Good is not enough. We are nearly sensational thank you very much.”

“Okay.” He agrees.

“My name is Mia. The angry one is my sister Lupe.” She says, stepping next to his desk.

“Nice to meet you, Mia and Lupe. I’m Tobias.”

Lupe hums.

“And your friend, Juanma was it? How close are you two?”

“Pretty close. We’ve been friends since we were kids.”

“Same,” Mia says, then laughs. “Not me and Lupe but our Go! team. Most of us have known each other forever.”

Lupe sighed internally.

“Class.” The teacher calls.

“I can’t wait to meet them.”

Mia smiles.

“I hope you can forgive Juanma.” 

Lupe grimaces.

“I would be able to forgive him if he had insulted anything besides my team.”

----- ----- -----

“Juanma, you insulted them,” Tobias says.

“Better for them to be insulted at their school than laughed off the national stage.” Juanma comments without looking up from his plate.

Olivia starts laughing.

“Juanma that’s too much. They wouldn’t get laughed off. They just wouldn’t make it that far.”

“Well, I think they would be amazing. The lead girl has great stage presence.”

Olivia and Juanma look at Tobias.

“Okay I might not know much about dancing and singing but I liked it.”

“Oh, they’re exiting the food line. Quick, Tobias do you want the blond or brunette? Y’know got to make sure Juanma doesn’t fall for the wrong girl.” Olivia says with emphasis at the end.

Juanma looks at her disgusted.

“The blond,” Tobias answers with a dopey grin.

Olivia shakes her head at her brother.

“Girls, come sit with us.” She waves them over.

Mia looks at their friends then Lupe.

“If you want to go ahead,” Lupe says, apathetic.

“Lupe, Mia come sit with us.” She repeats.

Lupe is thankful her father hates eye-rolling or else she wouldn’t be able to control herself.

“How does she know our names?” Lupe whispers to Sofi and Agus.

“Can we sit with them?” Mia asks.

“Fine. But you’re sitting next to Juanma. I want the “cute one”.”

Mia looks heartbroken.

“To sit by.” Lupe corrects herself.

“Are they going to sit or what?” Olivia mutters.

“Ciao,” Zoe says, smiling.

“Hi,” Mia says sitting between Juanma and Olivia.

“Hi.” Tobias returns, smiling.

Across works too, Lupe thinks.

“So you’re dancers?” Olivia asks.

“We are,” Mia answers, cheerfully.

“I used to dance. We won nationals when I was a sophomore.”

“But Pemberly doesn’t have a team.” Lupe blurts, confused.

“We transferred last year.” Tobias provides.

“Oh, I know! I’m going to have a get together this weekend. So we can all get to know each other.”

Juanma makes eye contact with Lupe. She narrows her eyes at him and looks away.

“Isn’t it a bit early to party?” Lupe asks.

“I don’t think it is,” Tobias says. “What about you, Mia? Feel like a party?”

“Always.”

And we’re lost, Lupe thinks.

----- ----- -----

Lupe: Tobias is not so bad. Juanma is to be ignored. But does Go! Need something?

Juanma: Can the teachers announce their decision about Basketball yet?... Lupe has nice eyes.

Mia: I hope Lupe like Tobias.

Tobias: Mia

Zoe: They are all overreacting.

Simón: Everyone is so cute!

Olivia: Will Juanma dance with me?

Sofi: where are the cutest basketball players?

Agus: Whatever Sofi is thinking.

Martín: Go! Costumes are much more important than Pemberly gang.

Jaded: Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Okay. What happened?" Allison asks sitting down.

"Nothing." I say, looking at my food.

"Don't give me that. I didn’t watch you two make eyes at each other for 3 periods to get nothing."

I look at Finn and he smiles.

"Make eyes. You'd think she was a grandma." He mutters.

"My hearing is still good you know. Lizzie, I know what happened. Just say it."

"Fine. We're dating. Nosy."

"Yes!" Allison exclaims, pumping her fist.

"What are you so excited about?" Chloe asks, joining us.

"They're dating. I told you they wouldn't last 5 weeks."

Finn and I look at each other.

"There was a bet?" He asks.

"No. A bet implies there was a pool of money depending on the outcome. It was just an discussion."

"Because that's okay." I sigh. "Guys, could you keep it quiet though? We don't need everyone finding out."

"Finding out what?" Allison asks. "Everyone already considers you two together. You just had to get the memo."

"Everyone here might known. But we'll keep it from getting to the public." Chloe says. "Finn's one of us."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing." He says.

"You know you're happy to be the first guy ever to say he goes to Alden for Girls." Allison replies.

"If you say so. It's almost time for class."

He picks up our stuff and helps me up.

"What happened to your bags, Lizzie?" Chloe asks.

"I decided not to read my textbooks at school."

"But you should still have one bag. What about the books you need for class?"

"I've got them." Finn says.

I sigh.

"Eliza, are you worried about this afternoon?"

"I'm fine. Just a little tired."

Finn looks at me.

"I'll tell you if it's anything worse, okay?"

"Okay." He whispers back.

"Are you guys sharing books?" Chloe asks.

"It makes sense. We sit next to each other in all our classes. Plus, Eliza's already read them."

"They're sharing books, Allison."

"I knew it would be like this. They're all cutesy and in the newlywed phase. They'll forget all about us."

"Never." I say, smiling at them.

"I have." Finn states.

And we all laugh.
----- ----- -----

My new doctor was surprised Dr. Lillian let me travel. I told him the condition doesn't limit my flight. But he doesn't think the distance from medical attention is good for me. He'll be making biweekly visits to make sure my migraines don't get worse. It's a little scary.

----- ----- -----

"So what's new?" Belle asks as we sit down to dinner.

"Lizzie and Finn are dating!" Jenn says.

"Everyone knows Jenn. I don't have any news since Saturday." I say looking around the table.

"Jenn, how are you doing?" Caleb asks.

"I'm great. Mr. Lawrence asked me to give a sample presentation in class. Which is really cool because he must think I'm really smart."

"You are really smart." Belle says.

Jenn blushes.

"How is ______ Lawrence?" Delilah asks, glancing at Belle.

"He's good." I answer. "He's a motivating teacher."

"Hmm, we should have a coed event for Alden Academies soon."

"Delilah, stop looking at me. You're not subtle. And just because you haven't seen the teachers lately doesn't mean I haven't."

"So you admit there's something on?"

Jenn and I look at each other.

"Mr. Lawrence?" I mouth.

"Wait, between Mr. Lawrence and Belle?" Jenn asks aloud.

"Yes. Delilah's convinced there was a mutual connection when he started teaching." Arthur says.

"No." She says. "He was interested in high school too. It was always Belle that, Belle this."

"Weird." I say.

Belle looks at me.

"No. I understand him being interested in you. It's just hard to picture since he's my teacher."

"He respected her." Caleb says. "And that's that."

"Thank you, Caleb." Belle says, still looking at me.

"Let's move on." Arthur says. "Lizzie, would you be willing to join a meeting with the foundation this week? We could set it up for Friday after you get out of school."

"Um, sure. What's it for?" I ask.

"Well we all have our different charities and events. You can set one up as the Peyton ward."

"We'll all be there for you." Caleb says.

"I'll do it. We don't have school Friday though. We can set up a morning meeting so everyone still gets out on time."

"Everyone would get out on time anyway." Belle says. "But it's good that you think of the staff."

I feel like I'm being groomed for something.
----- ----- -----

"Elizabeth Gent born to Zara and Luke Gent has no results." The older woman says.

"In the entirety of Massachusetts?" I ask.

"No, dear. There's are no Elizabeth Gents born in Massachusetts. Do you have any other information, like mother's maiden name or anything?"

"My mom's maiden name was Zara Mills."

"She has the same maiden name as the Simms mother." The woman observes, typing.

"Yes. But no relation."

"Here's a Beth Mills born to Zara Mills in 1998 in Hyannis. How's that dear?"

"No. I was born in 1997 in Plymouth."

"Didn't realize there were so many Zaras in that time." She says.

That's an odd thing to say.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"You're the Peyton ward, correct?"

"Yes." I say.

"It's nice to see an orphan with so much influence. Use it well."

"Thanks, ma'am. I'll try." I wave and walk out of the research library.

"How did it go?" Finn asks as I get in the car.

"One second." I say, leaning back and closing my eyes.

Finn takes my hand. I open my eyes and smile weakly.

"Nothing. No Elizabeth Gents in Massachusetts, ever. I wasn't born here."

"Yes, you were Eliza. But you remember Massachusetts as a home state."

"But that's the problem. I don't remember anything about it. I've called it home for so long. But it's not. I have no documentation to support an idea a blocked brain provided."

"Don't call your brain blocked. It's just not telling you everything. You might not be in the system or you might not be under the right name."

"There was a Beth Mills born to Zara Mills. But it was the wrong year and town."

"Your mom's name was Zara?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't know that. Tell me about her."

"I know you're just distracting me."

"I want to know." He says, squeezing my hand. "If it helps you relax to so be it."

""

I tell him aboout how she would pick me up from school and take me exploring. She'd tell me about history and science. She made sure I was always learning and growing with her. I tell him the few stories I remember of my dad.

"Where are we going?" I ask, suddenly.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice until we were on the boat."

"You want me to be more observant and then say things like that. Are we going back to that small island?"

"Yeah. You seemed to like it before."

"I did. Thank you." I clam back up.

Finn parks. We buy the tickets and rush to the next ferry. I write and Finn listens to music.

"Eliza." Finn pokes me. "We're departing."

We follow the few people off the boat. Finn lifts me down again and smiles at me.

"I'm having deja vu."

"But you have been here before."

"It's more than that. It feels like I'm doing an old habit."

"Well you said you'd explore with your parents on the weekend, right?" I nod. "Maybe you'd come here."

"Maybe."

We walk to the shop again. And I stop in front of the painting from last time.

"Oh my goodness." An 80 year old man says, coming up. "You've come back."

He hugs me and I freeze.

"And the little boy." He says, letting go and hugging Finn.

Finn looks at me and I shrug back.

"It's been years. You two are so much bigger now. You went from children." He points to the painting. "To young adults. I guess, I'm not so young either."

"I'm sorry. I'm not sure we've met." Finn says.

"Of course we have. You're named after some sort of animal. And this young lady has the prettiest smile. It makes all your pain go away." He whispers to Finn.

"My name is Elizabeth Gent." I say, holding out my hand.

"There's the smile!" He shouts.

A young woman comes up.

"Grandpa. Let's go on a walk."

"Perfect blend of her father and mother." He says following his granddaughter. "With their tragedy, it's nice to see."

I start to follow them. A woman comes into my path.

"I'm sorry about my father. He gets very confused. He's still looking for the little girl in his painting."

"He painted this?"

"Yes. You have her hair color and he must have ran with it. I apologize. Enjoy ______." She says, following her family out.

I gasp and close my eyes.

"Another migraine?" Finn asks.

"No. It was just a sharp pain. It's gone."

"Time to go."

"But the older man…"

"I don't think his daughter wants us talking to him. We'll try next week."

I look at Finn.

"No. You need to take your time. The mystery won't unravel any faster if you're in bed in pain."

"Fine. Next week."

We walk back to the dock. We sit and watch the ocean.

"So what were you writing on our way over?" Finn asks.

I hand him my notebook. And he reads silently.

Fatherless boys
And motherless girls
They all unite
Living the tale

Don’t know what it means
Or remember too well
Being a member
Forming a family

People pity them
Sigh when they hear
What their history is
What their life has been

Fatherless boys
And motherless girls
To them I relate
And with them as well

I hate the word orphan

"What happened?" Finn asks, handing me my notebook back.

"In addition to telling me I wasn't born here, the research lady told me to do a good job as the Peyton ward. I'm an orphan with a lot of power. I know I'm an orphan. I wake up every morning knowing I don't have what other people do. But that's not all I am. I don't want to be known as the SOS with power. I want to be Elizabeth Gent, the girl who did what she could. One word doesn't define me."

Finn sighs and hugs me.

"You're so much more than your circumstances. I wish people could see past it. You have the potential to be the girl who changed the world. I'm sorry you have to hear that from everyone."

Jaded: Chapter 12

Chapter 12

We've got 6 of the items and it's not even 4:30.

"I think we might win."

"I've heard the first part of the list is easy to get through. The next part takes longer." Finn replies, staring forward.

"Well, it's the fun of being together, right?"

"Yup."

I feel like I'm playing tug-of- war. I look at my calendar instead of talking to him.

"We're here." He says, turning off the car.

I get out of the car and look around.

"A walking trail?" I ask.

"Yeah, number 7. A walking trail with water and animal life. This one is a little far but it has a waterfall that animals love. Shall we?"

I nod and we start walking.

"Do you really want to win?" Finn asks, suddenly.

"No. I just feel like I have to put my all in. It is my first event as the Peyton ward after all."

"Yes. We can't forget you're the ward."

His tone is harsh and I don't reply.

I stumble on a fallen branch. Finn takes my hand and puts me slightly behind him.

How can he be so mean one second and so kind the next?

"Okay." He says as we stop at a cave. "Now we just have to wait."

I sit in the cave and he sits next to me.

We sit in silence while I look around the park. It's beautiful but familiar.

"Got it." Finn says, taking a picture on his phone.

I look back at the waterfall and see birds and frogs sitting there.

"Now we only have three things left."

I stare as he stands in front of the cave.

"Eliza? Are you okay?" His voice is full of concern.

"Of course, I'm not okay. Everywhere I go, I have deja vu. But it's really vague and I don't remember anything. I haven't learned anything about my childhood. I keep getting headaches. And my oldest friend isn't talking to me." I breathe out.

"Lindsay isn't talking to you?"

I put my hands on my temples.

"No. You."

"Sorry for being confused. You have so many titles for people."

"Well, you were my first friend. I met you before Jenn came back. I would look forward to seeing you each summer. I was so happy when you started at Alden for boys. Then, this year you avoided me and have been ignoring me. It's not fair."

"I was right there for you to find me."

"Please. Lindsay finally told me this morning. The girls ran into you all the time and you always said you were busy. But you asked my schedule so we wouldn't be in the same place."

"Fine. I avoided you becasue I realized we probably won't be in the same college, let alone state in a couple years."

"Were you going to avoid me this year too?"

"Yes." He says, looking down.

"And that's why you've been ignoring me the last few weeks. Why did you agree to be my bodyguard if you hate being around me so much?"

"I don't hate being around you. That's not why I've been ignoring you. I started to hope we'd go to the same college."

"So why are you nice one moment and standoffish the next?"

Finn glances at me and turns away.

"We got the picture. Let's go."

"No. We're talking about this. Ignoring it is tearing at our relationship. We need to know why so we can try to salvage it."

"You want to know everything?" He asks, turning back around.

I nod.

"Everyone's been sharing their opinion on us: the media, the girls, classmates out west. Arthur Simms is over here threatening me. My dad is warning me from the moment I wake up but won't tell me why. You're now the Peyton ward, which is huge. And I don't even know how you feel. I mean your best friend hates me."

"Lindsay doesn't hate you." He rolls his eyes. "She's scared of you."

"She's scared fo me? I should be scared of her turning you against me."

"It's not a one or the other thing. She's scared of how much you mean to me. She's scared of how I like you romantically. She's scared of how much you affect me."

My eyes widen as I realize what I said. I blush and look around the cave.

Finn leans forward a little.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" He asks, looking hopeful.

I can do this. I look back at him.

"I said I like you, a lot."

Finn kisses me. I freeze in surprise.

"I was starting to think you'd never say it." He says, pulling himself up.

He sits next to me and I continue to stare at him.

"Te amo, Eliza."

I love you. What? I love you!

"Eliza?" He asks, sitting back to look at me. "Are you okay with that?"

"I'm fine with it. It's great. I'm just really confused. I mean, it's wonderful but why all the issues then?"

"It felt like everyone had a say in our relationship. But you weren't saying anything so it felt like everyone was mocking my feelings. I shut down a lot to protect my feelings."

"I was saying things." I think about what Allison said. "Okay. Maybe not often or in a sensible manner. But I definitely made it know I wasn't happy with the situation."

"It seemed like you hated me being your bodyguard. I thought you couldn't wait to get back west and be seperate for the year. I thought you'd go to Northwestern and we'd never see each other again."

"No. I hated that you weren't being yourself. I was frustrated because it felt like my needs were ruining your life. I need you around. I need to talk to you."

Finn smiles and wraps an arm around me.

"Okay. Talk, rant, ask questions. Feel free to say anything on your mind."

"Arthur threatened you?"

"Anything but that."

"Come on. Tell me. When did he threaten you?" I ask, leaning back into him.

"Today at the scavenger hunt gathering. He told me to make sure you were safe. And he said that if I broke your heart, he would be the first to confront me." Finn laughs. "He said that his friendship with my family means nothing next to your happiness. He also implied that he could take me even though he's 20 years older than me."

"Wow."

"Yeah. So much for him keeping his opinion to himself."

"I didn't know I was that important to him. It's flattering and overwhelming."

Finn looks at me.

"You're that important to a lot of people. You wouldn't believe the amount of people, including my mother, who told me something along those lines recently. I'm the one who says it the most though."

I blush and Finn kisses my cheek. Which only makes me blush harder.

"Your dad won't tell you his problem either?"

"Nope. He said it has nothing to do with work. He likes you. But he doesn't approve. Wait, when did you talk to him?"

"At the benefit when I left you on the dance floor. Sorry about that, by the way."

"It's forgotten. What were you going to say before you left the ballroom?"

"I was going to say I imagined it would be like a fairytale. I wanted to dance the night away with you, talking about everything and anything."

"And I just wanted to stare at you. The next ball is the 27?" I nod. "We'll dance and talk all night."

"Thank you. We'll make your dad approve."

"I'm sure we can. He may seem a little rough around the edges but he just wants me to be happy."

And I make him happy? This is too much.

"What did you say about headaches?"

"Oh, I get headaches every once in a while." I say breezily.

"Why is this the first I'm hearing about this?" He pauses. "Never mind. How often and how long has it been going on?"

"At least two per week. It started the second week that we were here."

"And you have no idea where it's coming from?"

"I think they come around the same time as my deja vu. I don't know what causes it. Sometimes I feel like there's something locked in my mind. Like it's so close but I can't open the door."

"Why are you being so nonchalant about it?"

"It's just a headache."

"You never get headaches. You get migranes and lie about the severity. You're going to the doctor Monday."

"Okay. I will. Bossy."

"Caring about someone who puts themselves last leads to being firm."

I can't hide my smile.

"I'm glad that makes you happy. We'll start looking into your childhood after you've visited the doctor."

"Thank you."

My phone vibrates. I don't want to move but it could be important.

Allison: How's the scavenger hunt going?

"Oh, no."

"What's up?"

"It's 5:30."

"Oh, man. We still have to walk down and drive back. We're not going to finish the list before 6."

"It's fine. I got my prize." I say, leaning up and kissing him.

"And I mine." He says, lifting me out of the cave.

We walk in comfortable silence. I've missed this.

----- ----- -----

"You guys don't understand." Bianca says.

"Yes, please explain why it was necassary for you to prank Jo." Mikayla says.

"I shouldn't have to explain it. Jo is always doing something."

"But that's Jo." Max says.

"That's not fair."

"Lizzie, can you fix this?" Mikayla asks.

"Jo will be graduating in two months. Just put up ---"

"Mistress?" Lindsay asks as everyone stares at me.

"What?"

"Eliza, you were talking." Finn says, stepping closer.

"No, Bianca was explaining why she pranked Jo."

"Yes, two minutes ago. You were telling her to put up with it."

I narrow my eyes at him.

"If you say so. Are we visiting Jenn or not?" I ask, turning around.

I stumble and Finn grabs my forearm.

"They are. Lindsay, I'm going to take her to the doctor."

"Okay, thank you." Lindsay takes my hand. "We'll tell Jennifer you said hello."

"I'll stay with her until you guys come back. Max, please drive them home."

"Of course. Feel better Lizzie."

"Bye, Lizzie."

I stare out the window and sigh.

"When are we going to see Jenn?"

Finn pulls over.

"What do you remember, Eliza?"

"I remember grounding Bianca for pranking Jo. I remember getting in the car. And I remember Max telling me to feel better. Which is ridiculous because I feel fine. By the way, did the girls drive with him?" I say, looking in the backseat.

"Most of that happened 15 minutes ago. Do you remember getting back in the car?"

"No." I say wincing.

"Eliza what's wrong?"

"It's just a headache."

"Sit back and close your eyes. We're not talking anymore."

Spoil- sport.

I open my eyes. I'm in a white room. The doctor's office?

"Hello, Ms. Gent." Dr. Lillian says, from her chair.

"Hello. How did I get here?" I ask, sitting up.

"Your friend Finn carried you into my office."

"What? But I'm fine."

"Your friends are very concerned about you. Lindsay has already called twice. I told her I had to wait for you to wake up to examine you. Let's just do a brief check up."

"Fine."

She starts my check up.

"You have a slight temperature. Do you know that?"

"No. We check our temperatures every night. I didn't have one yesterday."

Dr. Lillian laughs.

"You're extra cautious, Eliza."

I shrug.

"Well, do you feel sick at all?"

"No. I'm fine."

"Let's go my office to chat."

"I just have a headache." I say, following her out the room.

"On a scale of one to ten how much pain are you in?"

"A seven." I say sliding into the chair.

"That sounds more like a migraine to me."

There's an knock on the door.

Dr. Lillian opens the door slightly.

"Lindsay called. She was wondering how Lizzie was doing."

"He can join us since they need to know so badly."

"I need more than a snarky approval."

"I would like Finn Campbell to join us." I reiterate.

"I meant a signature but have a seat, Finn." Dr. Lillian says, handing me a paper.

I scan it and sign it.

"So have you ever had a migraine before?"

"No." I respond.

"What about 8th grade year when you missed debate team because you couldn't open your eyes from pain?" Finn asks. "And last year when you threw up after the dance?"

"Thanks for those memories. Dr. Lillian, I guess I have had migraines."

"Do you get them often?"

"Not really. Like 10 a year. I've only missed school a couple times and I haven't thrown up since 9th grade."

"What about what happened today? Have you ever fallen asleep?"

"That's because Finn had me close my eyes. I don't fall asleep."

"She didn't know what was going on. She lost about 20 minutes. She paused and forgot she was talking." Finn says.

"Tattletale." I mutter.

"Lizzie, you have to be honest with me. I'm your doctor and I didn't know anything about your migraines. It's a good thing you have friends who care so much about you."

"I'll try to be better at talking to you." I promise.

"Thank you. Now do you think it has anything to do with your past?" She asks, glancing at Finn.

"Finn knows that I don't remember my childhood. I don't know. I just have seasonal headaches." I look at Finn. "Alright, migraines. But I don't think they have a connection."

"You said seasonal. Have you noticed a pattern?"

'I usually get one around the time my mom died and when I went to care. I know the others are grouped together but I don't know how so."

"Ok.This is going to take a while but for the next year I want you to list the dates you get migraines. Can you do that?"

I nod and wince.

"Yes, I can."

"Is there anything she can do now to relieve the pain?" Finn asks.

"You can rest in the nurse's office. Fresh air, medicine and water may help. Just keep to the shade because it is bright outside."

"Okay. Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Lizzie. I hope you feel better."

Finn offers his arm and I take it.

"What do you want to do?" He asks.

"Can we go to our park?" I ask.

"Of course."

We drive to the park we discovered. There's only a few people. Finn spreads a blanket under a tree. I lay down and he reads to me.

----- ----- -----

Finn takes my hand.

"I'm sure you're fine, Eliza. You haven't been ill or anything. I just want a doctor to know."

"I know. It's just Dr. Lillian said flying would be okay. I'm still writing down the dates but I've been getting way more migraines lately."

"You know, you don't have to do all the responsibilities as the Peyton ward. You can still cancel it."

"Oh, no. I'm the ward. You don't like attention. What are we going to do?" I say, frantically.

"Eliza, I'll be alright. We don't have to share our lives with the public. And if they find out, I'll be alright."

He kisses my hand and we pull into the driveway.

The valet opens the door and I pull my hand away.

Finn looks at me confused.

"You said if they find out. That means we have to be a little subtle. That means we can't walk around holding hands."

Finn nods and steps closer.

"Thank you. He whispers.

Mental Health in Media

Our first media series will be analyzing how mental health is represented to the mass public.

I'm using "Mental Health in Film". There is a list on Wikipedia. I will watch the movies and discuss the accuracy, glamouization, romanticization or ignorance each film protrays.

Disclaimer: My professional diagnoses at the moment: Bipolar II (a less severe form of Bipolar I) Chronic Depression, Suicidal, Social Anxiety, Insomnia, Anxiety and Panic Disorder.
My personal suspicions: PTSD, leaning towards a range of Personality Disorders, Food Discomfort, Depersonalization Disorder, ADHD, leaning toward the Autism Spectrum, Phobias, Selective Mutism.

If you want more information on my disorders and my opinion on them, there are numerous post about just that. In particular:
Unique-ly in the Way - all disorders
Hypomania & HSP - Bipolar II & Anxiety
ARFID - Food Discomfort
Suicidal Ideation - Suicidal
Fighting Through - Social Anxiety
Throw Back Thursday - Selective Mutism
Sleep - Insomnia
Painful Memory, Useful Memory - Panic Disorder
Kristy, Are You Doing Okay? - PTSD
Paradoxical - a few disorders mentioned

I will only discuss things with content that suits my taste. I may leave out an important example because I'm not comfortable with it. After movies, I'll decide between TV and books.

P.S. Sorry I got it in a few minutes late.

S.I. Confessions Part 4

How?
How do I go from high up to falling down?

Why?
Why can't I speak when people are around?

When?
When will I be able to see more than me?

Who?
Who do I even want to be?

Where?
Where will I find my safe place?

What?
What can I do to enjoy taking up space?

Jaded: Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Hello, Elizabeth Gent. My name is Sarah Jackson." The young woman says, sitting on the couch.

"I know who you are. I've been watching you and reading your articles since I was 5." I say, excitedly and wince.

Sarah laughs.

"Thank you. It's nice to know I had such a young and dedicated fan. What made you watch the news at such a young age?"

"My mom insisted I know what was going on in the world. I love your broadcasting company and their honesty. What made you move to human interest pieces?"

"I've always been interested in getting to know the people I report about. I find that causes get a more personal touch that way."

"Cool." I say. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"Water, coffee, tea, hot chocolate, juice, milk?" Allison asks to my right.

I look at her.

"I guess Allison predicted I'd be asking."

"No. I've been watching from upstairs." She says, without shame. "Ms. Jackson, I'm a huge fan."

"This is my friend, Allison. She works for the Simms." I introduce.

Ms. Jackson smiles.

"Nice to meet you, Allison. I feel so flattered today."

"What can I get you, Ms. Jackson?"

"I'll take tea." Sarah says. "And you can call me Sarah."

Allison nods quickly and I snicker.

"Orange juice, Liz?" She asks, glaring at me.

"Yes, please." I smile back.

She leaves the room.

"So Elizabeth, my interview style is a bit different as you probably know. I'll ask questions but it's fine if you move from topic to topic. Just know some things may move out of context when I edit."

"That's fine. I do have a request though. Could you start off by saying that I prefer not to be called Elizabeth?"

She gets out her recorder.

"What do you prefer to be called? Liz?" She asks.

"I usually go by Lizzie but I've been called every nickname including Betty." I laugh.

"You don't agree with Betty?"

"I don't mind any of them. I just don't feel much like a Betty. It seems like a bubbly name."

"You don't consider yourself bubbly?

"No. I'm cheerful but I'm not bubbly. Not that there's anything wrong with being bubbly. It's just not a part of my personality."

"I can appreciate that. Your comments are very diplomatic. Is that because you're aware of your role model status? Or is it affected by having prepared your answers?"

"Neither. I was surprised when the Companion called me a role model. I'm honored that people view me as a good person to imitate. However, I refuse to be fake for the status."

"So what makes you so diplomatic?"

"I'm not sure. I was always the mediator in my friend groups. I have a mellow viewpoint, I suppose."

Allison puts our drinks down.

"You're a valuable addition to our friend group." She says.

"Thanks, Allie."

"Son." She adds.

"And now it sounds weird." I say.

"Sorry. I'm interrupting. Call me if you need anything."

"Will do."

"You two seem like great friends."

"Yeah. She's one of my best friends."

"You didn't know each other before you came, right? That's quick."

"I don't think it's that fast. We just happen to carry the same song."

She looks at me in surprise.

"Are you saying that based on the poem, The Arrow and the Song?"

"Yes, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. He's one of my favorite poets."

"I am definitely talking to the 6th smartest young lady in the country."

I blush.

"I'm not the 6th smartest girl in the country. The tests to find that statistic only emphazise a select amount of information. That fact is, my cumulative score is impressive but there are plenty of young women who test better in individual subjects. We all have our different advantages. Mine happens to be that I have a good memory and a lot of time to learn."

"I can't argue with that. How long are you staying with the Simms?"

"I'm not sure. The original plan was for 10 weeks. Circumstances may change but if I have responsibilities to handle, I may be back often."

"That raises a couple questions. What are you going to do when you leave the girls at this academy?"

"I will strive to keep in contact with them. I may not always answer or reply right away. But I hope to write and call people all the time. I've actually reconnected with a few people lately."

"Who would these people be?"

"One of my foster sisters wrote the Peyton empire a letter. It was good to hear from her after all these years. Another one was my fourth grade teacher. She helped me through one of the hardest times in my life."

"What was that?"

I forgot that I was being interviewed.

"That would be my mother's death. I was more shy then."

"It's hard to imagine that. You carry yourself with such confidence. Of course, that brings up another question. You don't have to answer."

"It's okay. I previewed it. And I'm used to the question."

She smiles at me, sadly.

"What happened to your parents?"

"My father died in a sailing accident when I was 3. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 4. She fought for four years and died when I was 8."

"You were so young." She says, emotional.

"I was. But I still have memories of my parents. And that's a blessing I am grateful for."

"That's beautiful."

"Thank you." I say, slightly uncomfortable.

"I had a couple more questions. I know you have to get ready for the pairs and groups scavenger hunt."

"I do. But I have plenty of time to get ready."

"I was wondering what responsibilities you have as the Peyton ward."

"Well, I will be getting a scholarship so I have to finish my high school experience at the academic standard I've previously set. I am the teen representative so I must be respectable. I am now in charge of the teen section of events held by the Peyton empire."

Sarah pauses her recorder.

"Off record, but Delilah was getting overwhelmed."

I believe that. But I don't think it needs to be spoken.

"In time, I'll be attending any events that the Simms cannot attend."

She records again.

"There's four of them. Will there ever be a day not even one can be in attendance?"

"It's not likely. But I'll be on standby just in case."

"Well, they couldn't have possibly given it to a more responsible young woman."

"Thank you."

"The last question is a more personal one."

More personal than my parents? Even though I know the gist of what she's about to ask, I don't know how you get more personal than that.

"Sources say you danced several times with a young man the night of the Peyton anniversary benefit."

"That's correct."

"No one seems to know who this young man is, however. Will he be on your team this evening?"

"Yes."

"Are you playing pairs or groups?"

"Pairs."

"Do you have a relationship with this young man?"

"He's a close friend. Friendship is a relationship as well."

"That's true." She says, smiling. "Is the Peyton ward allowed to have a romantic relationship?"

"Yes. I am, as the Peyton ward, allowed to have a relationship. At the moment, I am not in a relationship. I don't feel obligated to announce when I start one. But I will strive to live up to my role model status in that area of my life, too."

'I think you'll be a great role model. I look forward to seeing what you do with your position."

"Thank you." I say.

She turns off her recorder.

"Sorry for some of those questions. The public wants to know." She says, standing.

"It's fine. I knew they were coming. And I trust you to provide a good first impression."

"Thank you. Well, Lizzie it was nice to meet you."

"It was nice to meet you as well." I say as Allison comes into the room.

"Lizzie, it's almost time to go. Sarah, I'll walk you out."

I hear them talking as I go up stairs.

I go to my room and check my makeup. I grab my satchel. I head out of my room.

"Eliza."

I turn around and see Finn in the family room.

"How long have you been here?"

"A while. You walked by me earlier. Please be a bit more aware of your surroundings."

"Fine. Are you ready to go?"

"One second. Can you hold up your hair?"

I do so. Then, I feel something cold on my neck. I touch something square and look down.

"A bookcase necklace?!" I ask excited.

"Yup. Now I'm ready."

I follow him downstairs and out of the house. We get in the car and he turns on music.

"Finn, why did you buy me a necklace to match your pocket watch?" I ask, curious.

"We have to match for our team. I told you we were set."

"You told me to wear my notebook print shirt and bring my typewriter satchel. I thought having a theme was enough."

"It is. I had already ordered the necklace, though. That shirt is cool."

"You bought me my satchel and now a necklace."

"I gave you the satchel two years ago. I knew you'd like the necklace. That's all that is important."

"Well thank you. I'm not good with people buying me gifts. It's a good thing I like you so much."

The car stops and my door opens.

"Ms. Gent." A valet says.

"Hello. Which way is the gathering?"

"It's on the putting green to the left." He gestures.

I try to get my blush to go away. I can't believe I said that.

Finn clears his throat. Awkward.

"So Jenn went with Chloe and Lynn?" he asks.

"No." He stares at me. "She went with Lynn and George. We didn't leave her at the house."

"You enjoy making people panic."

"No, I don't. I just thought this was a bad time to ask."

"It takes a little more than 5 minutes to get here. I could have gone back for her."

"You forgot and that's that."

"Whatever." Finn says, smiling. "Let's join the party."

"Let's." I say as we step onto the grass.

Chloe runs up.

"Save me."

I laugh.

"What happened to you being so excited about your team?" I ask.

"It's never been so quiet in my car. Miranda is in the front seat and won't even look at Cameron. I don't understand why they agreed to be on the same team."

"Because everyone wanted them to be on the same team." Finn says. "This is their first year playing. Do you know how many couples have come from this game?"

"I know. My cousin married her teammate from her freshman year in college. I just can't believe his parents agreed. And I wish they hadn't."

"Do you have to be on their team?" I ask.

"Yeah. They need a driver. Plus, there's no duos I can pawn Cameron off to." She says, glancing at Finn.

"The teams have already been approved." He says.

"I know."

"Arthur is beckoning me." He says, nodding at me.

I nod back.

"He's not a very good guard walking away from you." Chloe says.

"I'm just glad to have a little breathing room. And he's literally 8 feet away."

"I'm glad my dad isn't influential enough for us to need guards."

I finger my necklace.

"Is Finn okay?"

"I think so."

"He glared at me when you asked if I need to be on the kids team."

"Oh. I wondered why you responded like that. Maybe he didn't want to share the winnings." I guess.

"He doesn't care about a paid dinner. And I would have given it to you two. No, I think he didn't want anyone disturbing you."

"That's …" I don't finish that thought.

"See? I'm right."

"Hi, Lizzie." Lynn says.

I look at her, George, and Jenn.

"Wow. That is a lot of flannel." I say, blinking.

"It's a good thing it's cold enough for it. I hope the girls won't get too hot." George says.

"No, I think it's perfect. I think hot chocolate should be on the list." Jenn comments.

"We could put it on our own list."

Lynn stares at them.

"This is why we're not going to win. These two will veer off course."

"Hi, Lizzie. Hi, Finn." Cameron says.

I look to my side. I didn't know Finn had come back.

"More aware." He whispers and I nod.

"Hi, I'm Lizzie Gent." I say to the teenage girl.

"Nice to meet you. Miranda Beaufont." She says, quietly.

"So Lizzie how are you two matching?" Cameron asks.

"They did it subtly. She's a writer and he has a bookcase watch. Producer meets audience." Jenn says, sounding disappointed.

"Wait, isn't her necklace a bookcase?" Lynn says.

"Can I answer now? We both have bookcase accesories." I say.

'That's cool." George says.

"That's new." Jenn says, looking at me.

"Alright teams, line up." Mrs. Jergens says.

"Finn?" Jenn whispers.

"Yeah. He surprised me with it." I whisper back.

We separate and line up in front of the stage.

"Ok. The rules are simple. You must transport the item. If it belongs to someone ask permission to borrow it. In order to return it, you must list where you got it from. If you run into another team, go in a different direction to avoid losing. The game ends here at 6. The valets have put the lists in your cars."

"Delilah and Caleb are on the same team." I observe.

"Is that strange?" Finn asks.

"They just seem to frustrate each other. I don't see them interact often."

"They work well together."

"Arthur and Belle seem like stiff competition."

"They are. They've won 6 times."

"It seems like they shouldn't be allowed to participate anymore."

"They turn their dinner into a dinner party. So people don't mind."

We find the car and get in.

"Let's beat them." Finn says.

"Let's."